Please give me some advice

[RDFloRN]

Thank you in advance to anyone who would be willing to take a few minutes to give me advice on this. I am working as a staff nurse on a med-surg floor. I have been at this job for about 4 months now, and only off orientation for 2 1/2 months. I like the job alot but I desperately want to quit. I moved to another, bigger city, thinking it would be a great change and that I would like it alot better. However, I'm 14 hours away from all my family and friends. I love the city I'm living in, its why I moved, and the job is great, but I am so miserable. I want to move back to where I came from. I cry all the time, I started having really bad anxiety, I can't sleep, and I have no appetite. I have bought so many plane tickets to go home for the weekend that I will go broke if I keep it up. And my parents and friends are spending alot of money flying out to see me because they miss me and feel bad that I am homesick. It would be financially challenging but manageable to move again. The thing is, I feel so bad about quitting this job only a few months off orientation. My coworkers have been so nice and helpful. Some of them really went out of their way to help me meet people and learn my way around a new city. It is a well-staffed unit-they'll be just fine without me, but I can't bring myself to do it. Do you think they'll understand? I want to be fair and give 4 weeks notice but am nervous about whether it will be uncomfortable. I'm going to wait until after the holidays to put in my resignation but just don't know how to approach it. I also got a relocation bonus and in return am supposed to stay a year. Am I obligated to stay?? Can I pay it back and leave on good terms? Will it look bad when I am looking for another job that I left this job after only 5 or 6 months? I worked at my previous job for 3 years and left there in very good standing. I am proud of myself for having the courage to try such a big change, but I know now its not right for me. Sorry for the long post. Thanks!

[anonymurse]

Buy a cheap webcam for yourself and your family and most important friends and use Yahoo Messenger to do video phone calls. Check http://www.airfarewatchdog.com/ and set it up to email you of bargain flights.

Also you need to get out and make friends where you are. When my daughter went to work in a totally strange town, although she's not a churchgoing type, she joined a church and instantly got a ton of caring friends and worthwhile activities.

Actually, she's a great example of a blend of the above approaches. She and her elder sister call each other daily.

[GeauxNursing]

so sorry! I graduated from college, was still working in my kitchen manager position, hanging out with all my buddies and doing the post-college-waiting-for-something-better thing. Decided to move to Dallas, 8 hours away from my LSU family! Got a crappy job that was supposed to be the best thing ever! Advancement opportunities! Great Pay! Well, it sucked. A month after moving here, I was making plans to move back home to Baton Rouge. I was miserable, crying all the time, I quit the crappy job, so there was no income. I was SO homesick! My parents wanted me to stick it out, get out there and do great things! I ended up staying, and good thing, because the next month Hurricane Katrina came through and wrecked all of Southeastern LA. My mom hooked me up with the higher-ups in my Dallas region with Davita, and I got my job! (i'm still here today, 2 years later.) In nursing school, even met my (future) fiance! So stick it out if you can, if not, go home! no big deal. its your life. your happiness. you tried, it didn't work. maybe some day in the future you will be ready. {{hugs****

[Agnus]

Yes you can payback your bonus and leave on good terms. Talk to HR about this. If you leave telling honestly why you left you should have no repercussions.

Express the appreciation you did here to your manager, to HR and to your co-workers for their support help etc and that you love working there, you love your job and co-workers yet you are terribly homesick and it is important to your health and sanity to return home.

When it comes to your resume, and job applications do the same. You returned home for family reasons. (you must keep it short on these documents) Then when you get to talk to a real person (ie interview) tell them you loved working at that hospital and loved the staff. Yet, you found that you needed to be back home.

I would not focus on homesickness with a new employer as this can have a number of repercussions. Just tell them you need to be in this geographical local for the time being.

[MB37]

I've been in a city for almost 2 years now that's 2000 miles away from my family and 600 from most of my friends - I moved to New Orleans from Minnesota at 18, and loved it. It's New Orleans that I miss every day, but because of the storm my husband's job there is gone never to return. He doesn't have a degree, so if he left his current job he'd be unlikely to find anything comparable. I'm trying to make the best of it here in FL, and while I still don't like it here, I don't hate it anymore. I still don't have any close friends, but I know some people now. And I am married, so I have someone, but his whole office moved out here so he knows a lot more people than I do. I guess all I'm trying to say is that it does get better when moving back isn't an option. I also second the person who suggested you go talk to someone. I can't diagnose over the internet, but you might have some symptoms of clinical depression and perhaps should make an appointment with a psychiatrist or counselor. If you try that, and it doesn't work, you might just need more of a support system and it's OK to go back home. Do the setting a date thing, and try to stick it out a bit longer. Then if you still hate it, go home and don't look back.

[RDFloRN]

Thank you to everyone for all your encouraging responses. I'm going to stick it out until the middle of January and then see what I want to do. I'll pick a date to make a decision like everyone said. With Christmas approaching, it makes it even harder to be in a strange place. So, I'll see if things improve after the holidays are over. Just to clarify, because I think some people thought I'm upset over living on my own. I went 2 hrs away from home for college and after graduating, I got an apartment and lived on my own for 3 years about 45 minutes from home. I was totally fine with that. Its just that I used to be able to go meet my mom for lunch, or go to my parents for Sunday dinner, or get together with my siblings. I guess I took that stuff for granted and didn't realize how important it was to me to be able to do that.