Just getting ready for another set of weekend nights and have come to the conclusion that the only way I can get through them is to develop some super-hero powers so I have ordered the following:-
The ability to split myself in two -
think this would be really useful when I am running to get drugs to thrombolyse my patient having a huge MI and relative pops their head out of the cubicle, stands directly in front on me and says "can my mother have a drink??" I reply "yes of course the water fountain is just there" only to be fixed with a steely glare as clearly I should be the one getting it!!! Simple, quick split in two, job done.
The ability to grow three extra pairs of hands -
I think my life would be so much easier. Trauma pt comes in 1 nurse + 8 doctors all shouting for BP, bloods, catheter, bair hugger, fluids at the same time. With 8 hands I would have no problem doing all of the above.
The ability to spot an impending projectile vomit in exactly enough time to get out of the way -
actually I'm not sure that that is a super-hero power as most nurses I know have this down to a fine art!!
The ability to teleport -
so that when I transfer a pt I can be there and back in seconds with patient comfortably tucked in and handed over. At the moment my reality is that I have to leave an area without cover, porter is already busy so push the trolley myself, get to ward to find bed unmade (or worse still another pt still in it!!!!), have to clean and make bed unload patient by myself then go off to find nurse who is far to busy to take my handover for another ten minutes then return to department to find chaos!!!!
A tenflon coating -
so that when irate patient or relative yells at me for ten minutes telling me that nothing one of my nurses has been good enough despite the poor nurse having been in and out of the room every few minutes giving quality care then it doesn't affect me and I don't find myself awake in the middle of the night going over what has been said. My rational head tells me that they would complain whatever, but my emotional head frets about what we could have done differently. So I would like an off button please!!
- so when my patient is at 3 hours and 59 minutes and the clock is ticking towards a breach I will know that a bed has magically become available preventing a breach. I will know this without bed managers or the ward ringing me I will just know and patient will be whisked away (by teleport) breach averted. My reality is repeated increasingly frantic phone calls in the last hour all being told "No Beds" then irate hospital manager arrives 1 minute after breach to shout very loudly that I should not have had a breach as there was a bed!!!!!. The fact no-one told me seems irrelevant.
You see the truth is that although I admit bias I think that nurses are super-hero's. The nurses that stay calm and caring however busy or overworked they are. The nurses that come back day after day and make a difference, despite being tired and sometimes disillusioned. The nurses that teach and nurture and develop tomorrow's nurses. the nurses that deal with death and dying sensitively and compassionately, to me all of these nurses are super-heroes
Would love to hear other nurses required super-hero powers..................