**need advice on a bit of a problem**

[Guest343211]

Hi everyone. I would like some advice. OK, I have been in early menopause since I was about 30. I had little choice really--go on HRT or never get any sleep, be completely unable to focus or concentrate, have zero libido, stay completely witchy and agitated all the time. Sheesh, forget about hot flashes and other things--the previous symptoms were beyond intense. I had tried all different things--honestly I did. Nothing worked but HRT. I see reputable people from more than one discipline for this problem.

Now, my problem is that since I started back to late off shift in particular, I am agitated and come off strong without even really knowing it or being able to stop it. I feel badly as soon as it comes out, but at that point it is too late. I must have some control, b/c I am able to still not do this w/ patients and families, but certain colleagues will just rub me the wrong way,. It's then that, well, I end up rubbing them the wrong way, even though I am not grossly disrespectul or mean. And it is not that I refuse to follow direction. I am just outspoken and speak plainly, and there are times it bothers people. Someone spoke to me about it today, and I really wasn't aware of how I was coming off. I am starting to wonder if my HRT isn't working anymore--though I am no where near as bad as I am without it. And even when I don't say anything, I must show nonverbal expressions that put some folks off. Some people don't take offense so easily, while others do. I don't want to be this way or seem annoyed or agitated. Furthermore, I don't really hold grudges, so after I let off a little bit of steam--voice frustration or somehow show annoyance, well, then I'm done with it. the thing is, others may not be.

Anyone have any books or suggestions about this. I am a good and caring nurse. I have and would break my butt to help my colleagues and pts and families--especially when it is most needed. Everyone seems very touchy anymore, and somehow my agitation, though dampened, still pushes the buttons of others. I want to be able to work along with as many folks as possible. And though I may be outspoken and passionate, I do accept that others have differing P(s)OV on things. That really that is OK with me. I expect them too. But if I sense they are NOT extending that same courtesy to me, well I guess I show frustration over it. I've been looking and trying to learn some things about myself in regards to this; and from the perspectives of other fellow nurses, I truly would appreciate some insight.

Please don't hold back. Speak your POV freely. I won't take it personally. I am just looking to understand and grow. Seriously.

Thanks

[Guest343211]

First, seriously, thank you all for your replies.

1. I do take a plant-based, though prescription estrogen, which works well.

2.

[Guest343211]

First, thank you all for you input. I so appreciate it.

2. I take plant-based prescription products--and am seen q six month by the gyne that prescribes them.

3. I see a few other highly reputable and respected MDs for issues that are the etiology of the premature ovarian failure.

4. I see an expert nurse that is also a Dr. of Naturopathy.

5. I know the pros and cons of all sides of the HRT argument and any positions on allopathic verses "alternative" health practices. They each present data, and the move in general is towards integrative medicine. It's inevitable since naturopathy, homopathy, etc all have important, very valuable things to add in order to help people produce true wellness in their lives.

6. My naturopath is fabulous and never takes anyone off of medicines prescribed by their allopath. The system she has is nothing short of incredible, and frankly it is so involved, I don't have time to go through it now. Suffice it to say that she uses non-cognitive biofeedback, and I know it works b/c it identified things which I never told her of--nor did she have access to--and those things the NCB identified had recently been identified in blood tests order by the allopaths. Again, she had no knowledge or access to the blood work, and I in no way let it slip. See I can be quite cagey by nature--so I went in not tell her about the labs, etc.

Well when I follow her advice and regiments, I am a more whole and healthy person. She is very safety cautious, and because she is a profession nurse and stays up on continuing ed in both areas of allopathic and alternative forms of healthcare, she is well aware of what works and what does not--she is huge on education--sadly, more so than many doctors or even some nurses.

Jenn, thanks for your insightful and kind words. I will begin to practice pausing or even as someone else suggested, counting. Its just that I am such an open person, my facial and nonverbal responses come out instantaneously. I am thinking that I should take up learning to play poker. I know I'd lose my pants, but maybe it would teach me not to be so naturally expressive. It's like the responses come across (nonverbally and sometimes verbally) before I've had time to think about holding them back.

Anyone else have this problem?

It's funny. I saw an episode of House. (Yes I know. The show is completely unrealistic--and House's character should be smacked on a regular basis. lol)

On the episode I reference, the patient had something affecting his right frontal lobe of his brain. I forget the final etiology, etc. But it caused him to say, rather caustically mind you, whatever came to his mind.

Now, I am not that bad at all. But I will say this. OK, I wonder about this for me, b/c when I was a child, I sustained a right, frontal lobe hematoma. I was followed for years--on dilantin, had regular tests and EEGS on a bi-yearly basis. I know it sounds improbable, and it is not as though I have Turret's; but could this be a factor? Am I just reaching?

The thing is, I am genuinely a nice and very moral person. I jsut speak my mind at times, Jenn, as you have said, and though it is not caustic, it rubs others the wrong way and gets me in trouble.

But to be honest, I was raised by a rather "balsy" ER RN mom--and though she is a compassionate angel that will do anything to help others, well, she always spoken her mind, and taught me to do the same.

How does one remain assertive yet diplomatic? To me, it seems quite tricky. And at the same time, I don't want to end up being passive-aggressive, b/c that doesn't work either.

[rn/writer, RN]

Some good suggestions in this thread, however, naming specific meds and supplements has crossed the line into giving medical advice.

A final thought that echoes what one poster said. Please make sure that your providers each know everything that you're taking. Combinations can be problematic.

To the OP, I hope you can find the balance you seek and a good job to go with it.

Closing this thread.