Misadventures in Nursing

gingerbreadman0214

Now, I have a larger audience and possibly even get a prize to boot. The readers can thank me later (or give this article a high rating) for giving them the much-needed dose of humor in their stressful life, even if it's just an "I-didn't-get-it" smile. The humor might sink in at the second read... or third.

I remember way back when I was still contemplating on taking up nursing, a lot of advice went about reconsidering other career paths. Amidst all of the warnings I got, I thought to myself that there's a positive aspect in a profession such as this...it's "noble". But I went with "exciting" and "wicked" which were my actual replies to those warnings I got from people. Those people were the types who get overly grossed-out at the mere mention of "pus", "digital rectal exam" & "rubber hand glove" (it has a smell that sticks & really endures). Get over it, peeps.

Now, I'm a health care provider & this is nursing. Interesting, just the way I like it. After a long hiatus, I went on to the exciting and wicked...or noble...life of a nurse trainee.

My new alarm clock rang it's first and last because I unintentionally banged :rolleyes: it against the wall. As usual, call time was at 6 AM, and we're advised to be there 30 minutes earlier. I crawled towards the bathroom and proceeded to do the act of cleaning my body. Deprived of my right to sleep, I stood there as if in a trance, watching the water droplets hit the bathroom floor (wee...lookit them splatter...). Then my mom brought me back to reality, shouting at me like a loud siren telling me to hurry up. I would've reasoned out that I was calculating the force of the water droplet's impact on the bathroom floor given the height and relative humidity (duh), but I realized I rather not if I don't want to get a knock on the head. A quick morning ritual with a short prayer in a nearby chapel and I was off.

Misadventure in the Internal Medicine Department. Ahh...the smell of the hospital...punctuated by the stomach-whirling smell of a diabetic foot that I'm about to clean and put dressing on, way to go for a first assignment I was instructed to mix vinegar with distilled water and povidone iodine as cleansing agent, but I've accidentally put a lot of vinegar. Looking at it, I imagined that adding garlic & potatoes will... I snapped myself out of that disgusting thought. Then I remembered I only had a quick breakfast and am already getting hungry, which explains the thought. It was like anatomy class. At first, I thought I might not bear the smell of a cadaver. But with time and pressure from cramming for practical exams, I learned to eat sandwiches while studying using the other hand to manipulate the cadaver. I know it's gross...

A week of caring for this type 2 diabetes patient of mine, I learned how anal she could get. She would really get unruly when she doesn't get everything exactly how she wanted it. One time, I heard her calling for me to give her some water because she said she was choking from food. Hurriedly I gave her the glass of water that was on her bedside table. Instead of drinking it up immediately to relieve her choking, she yelled that she didn't want her water cold and told me to get lukewarm water fast. Imagine, being in a life-threatening situation and she still insists on something impractical. I wonder how she got to talk while choking...must've had a lot of residual air in the lungs.

Also, she's very particular with having her dentures on always when facing other people. I would often have trouble convincing her to remove her dentures before sleeping. Then her scheduled leg amputation came and as per standard pre-op procedures, she had to take her dentures off. Made it easy for me, but she insisted that I wrap it with tissue and hold it for her throughout the whole operation. I can live with that, so I kept it in my pocket & wheeled her off to the waiting room. But as we were about to get there, she asked for her dentures. It was because she saw other patients with their relatives in the waiting room and wouldn't want them to see her gums when she flashes her aristocratic smile. I was having a hard time taking the tissue off the dentures because it got wet and got stuck. But, she suddenly snatched it off my hands and placed it in her mouth. Instead of me getting irritated, I tried to contain my laughter as much as possible. There was my patient, flashing her social smile with a piece of tissue clinging in between the incisors of her dentures. Swinging to and fro with every word she speaks: roll. I would've rushed to save her from that embarrassment, but I was afraid I'd burst into laughter in front of her. I know it was rotten of me to be laughing, but c'mon...I'm only human.

- Finding humor in everything that happens in my life makes the hardships easier for me to deal with.-

Misadventures in Nursing

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