How do you deal with death?

[SaraO'Hara]

Let me put forth that I am a pre-nursing student, working on pre-requisites to an ADN program and planning to begin work as a CNA this summer.

Just over a week ago, a casual friend of mine was killed in an automobile accident at the age of 16. I found out last Tuesday, and Wednesday and Thursday were occupied with her wake and funeral. I was in disbelief most of Tuesday and Wednesday, until I saw her in the coffin at the wake, and after the funeral began to accept the fact of her death, that there is nothing I can do about it but pray for her soul and for the comfort of her family.

This was the first time I've experienced death so closely, and it raised a few questions pertaining to how I might handle death when I become a nurse.

1. Many nurses might see patients die somewhat frequently. Does it bother you, or do you have ways of coping with it?

2. How do you keep from dwelling on a patient's death?

3. Do you move on immediately, or are a few days of unsettlement usual?

Thank you for reading this, and for any replies.

[suebird3]

I have been a nurse for close to 20 years (working both Home Health Care and LTC) and have had many patients "pass over".

There are some who I remember clearly, as their lives had touched mine in such a way that they cannot and will not be forgotten. Others are a blur. The most important thing is that I made their last days as comfortable as I could. There are a few where I think I could have "done more", but it is a learning process, and I feel I am getting better. You, too, will learn to handle this in your own way.

Suebird

[Megsd, BSN, RN]

I've worked in LTC and in home health care over the past 9 months and I have really been surprised at how "well" I cope with my patients' deaths, since I always worried that I would be devastated by it. Most of the deaths I have experienced have been somewhat expected... the patient has a long period of decline and passes quietly, and I find those are easiest for me to process because I know it's going to happen. My last patient died over the weekend and completely caught me off guard. It's been a little more difficult to handle, and I do miss her company (she even gave me a birthday card this year), but she was very frustrated with her lack of mobility, her lack of independence, and she missed her deceased husband dearly. I take comfort in the fact that these obstacles are no longer in her way and she is at peace. But I will never forget her.