You did a great job and a big, big hug goes out to you. I work in a Level III NICU and I can relate to how you feel. A 36 week infant died last night and I promise you that baby waited to die until his mommy held him (she had a c-secion so she didn't get up to the floor until 10 hours post-delivery). I have been doing this for over 8 years now and you never get use to it, you just find ways to cope via spirituality, physical activity, etc. You learn to be in the moment, take care of the patient/family needs, and remain professional until you can decompress, which you did!!!