I know this has been written about tons of times before but I really need some advice. I am 6 weeks into a 12-week orientation and I am miserable. I work 12-hour days on a med-surg. cardiovascular floor in one of the biggest hospitals in my city. Both of my preceptors are very nice, my manager is very nice, all of the nurses are very nice on this floor, but the work is miserable. The patients we get are extremely ill. They are all on about 25 medications. They have constatant tests, new orders being written, and doctors are always in your face. Many days I run around for 12.5 or more hours and barely get a 30-minute break for lunch. I am exhausted. I am scared because I have multiple sclerosis. I am very mild now and have had no symptoms for 5 years but this stress and exhaustion is going to put me into an exacerbation and then I will be no good to anyone. I have been basically ignoring my family because I work 12-hour days and am completely exhausted on my days off. (I have 2 daughters - 6 and 9).
I am thinking about resigning. This is a second career for me. I am almost 40 and have a major in journalism - so perhaps I can do medical writing. I know everyone gives the advice to stick it out for a while, it does get better, but this is not good for my health. I am too old to be this miserable everyday. I feel so guilty because I have received such quality training and I would be bailing on them. I guess I am wondering if I should stick this out anymore. Am I a terrible person?
I am keeping my feelings from my husband right now because he is so happy that I am earning an income. He makes great money but we have a lot of debt to pay off.
