I was talking to a non-nurse friend today about how my training is going & she teased me saying every converstation we have I say something about how nervous I always am!
I'm on week 6/12 for my training in an ICU, and half the time I either feel like "Woah I cant believe I work here & I'm actually doing a good job!!" & the other half of the time I feel "Oh man, oh man dont mess up!!!"
I have two preceptors- one... one I think this may be their first time in a leadership role & its getting to their head & they backhand compliment me all the time- even so far as blame me for missing something during the shift- when they are supposed to be training me & I've never even heard of doing what it is that we missed! So I think its stressful being with this one... I just try to go along with her friendly mind games, knowing in a few weeks I wont be trained by them & I DO value their knowledge and support.. just not the drama.. & with this one I am most nervous..
The other nurse preceptor I have is AMAZING- SO laid back, tells me I'm doing amazing, gives me confident boosts ALL the time- But occasionally I have this thing about teasing myself if I'm unsure of something or nervous about something, and she thinks thats really weird...
& oh my, though I work at the most team-oriented amazing floor that exists (in my opinion
) I do have continual butterflies in the tummy thinking about the day that I'm on my own- THAT is nervewracking!!
The thing is, I have a pretty awesome orientation process in general- and I dont want the nerves of trying to be perfect, or thinking about when I'm on my own, to ruin my days off! How do I get over this?? How do I get some confidence, which is the one thing my preceptors say I'm lacking??