Help!! all you experienced nurses!! How to survive orientation??!!

Nurses New Nurse

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Hi yall, I'm hoping you experienced nurses out there can give me some advice... I graduated in May, and have been employed at a hospital for 3 weeks now, and on orientation. I was told that we are encouraged to take 4-8 weeks on orientation so that "we are not thrown to the wolves". I have been taking patients (I mean, completely, totally being responsible for ALL of their care) since my 2nd day. The nurse I'm orienting with, "Nancy", has been at this hospital for 16 years, and knows everyone. Here's the way it's been going, since the start of the 2nd week, I've been taking all or half her patients (sometimes up to 9), while she spends time gossiping or playing jigsaw puzzles on the computer. Some days, she is very smiley and happy, and doesn't mind answering questions, etc. Most days (4 out of 5) she hands me my MARs in the morning, doesn't speak to me unless she has to, and when I do have to ask her questions, she huffs and stomps off, she sets me up for the doctors (tells them to ask me about HER patients that I know nothing about even though we're SUPPOSED to be working together, yet she hasn't spoken to me all day unless it's ordering me to do something), humiliates me in front of the patients and my charge nurse AND the nurse manager- this is mostly things like, someone asks me a question and before I can even open my mouth to answer, she's yelling out the answer- as if I'm too stupid to think for myself, barks orders at me, and on and on.... I know what yall are going to say- go to my nurse manager, etc.... but "Nancy" is the kind of person that can breathe venom on me and turn around and be all sunshine and roses with the charge nurse. This is a Catholic hospital, and she is very religious, always talking about how God did this or that in her life, asking people about all their problems and telling them how God has his reasons. Don't get me wrong, this is NOT about religion- I think it's great- the stories she tells. It's just everyone sees the sunshine side of her, because she's always acting very caring and such, then she turns around and screams at me. I'm just very frustrated because mgmt tells me (more than once) they don't want me thrown to the wolves, yet, every day so far, I've been COMPLETELY responsible for 4-6 patients, and when I screw up, the person that's supposed to have been helping me is screaming at me when I screw up, and then grilling me as to why I screwed up in front of drs or charge. Also, I don't want to go to mgmt because I will be on day shift, as so she is, and so I dont' want to make enemies, and I really dont' think that management will believe me, because she's ALWAYS nice and "sucking up" to them. Please advise before I go crazy. I have 3 more weeks with her.

UPDATE:Hey guess what everybody- it's gonna work out!! Turns out a lot of other people had been noticing the way she has been treating me, and they also said that she has run off a lot of good nurses. I shouldn't have been surprised that I wasn't the first one, and that other people noticed, but it did seem like everyone else either didn't see or ignored it all. BTW, I have been using a lot of honey- please and thank you and I really appreciate that, thank you for showing me, etc.....

2 things happened today:

#1. I snapped back (I reached my limit today) at her a couple of times ("okay, I know that, but I was just showing you!!!)- after that, she was downright pleasant to work with. What I said wasn't hateful, but in the same tone of voice she used with me. Then, she was all nice.

#2. Another nurse on another unit that had previously helped me in clinicals saw me today, and had noticed that I was more quiet than usual, and inquired. I couldn't help myself, I unloaded on her. She insisted I go to my nurse manager, and when I insisted I didn't want to be known as a whiner or troublemaker, she tracked down the NM and made me tell her. Turns out, I didn't have to really say much. I said it had to do with Nancy, and my NM said she can be abrasive, that she'd heard good things about me, and that she felt I was ready to be off orientation. So I'm going with nurse ed tomorrow, house Friday, off Monday, unit sec. Tues and Wed, and off orientation thurs!! YAY!!!! I got the feeling she'd been through this before in regards to Nancy. So, I'm hopeful that my NM will do what she says she will and support me. Just getting me away from her, that's worth its weight in gold.

So....

THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone for all of your support and words of encouragement......

turns out going to the NM was the right thing to do, after all, even though I hadn't intended to do it.

Thank you all for taking the time to support me....it means a lot to me..

:bowingpur:nurse:

Hey just one more thing to remember. Both my parents are nurses and they tell me countless stories of co-workers being rather harsh on their trainees as if it were a rite of passage or a requirement to "prove that your tough enough to be a nurse."

Anyways, after you get years of experience and you become the achieved nurse that you want to be, don't forget about your story with Nancy. Most of all don't become her please! I'm in pre-nursing right now and am looking forward to the profession, but all the horrible orientation stories i hear about make a lott of nurses look like some sort of immature college fraternity.

But look at it this way, maybe one day you'll be orienting fresh nurses, too. From your experience, you could either go Nancy's route, or be a more mature professional nurse.

Also, one day when you get older, maybe, just maybe, you'll be taking care of her. How funny would that be :chuckle

Hey just one more thing to remember. Both my parents are nurses and they tell me countless stories of co-workers being rather harsh on their trainees as if it were a rite of passage or a requirement to "prove that your tough enough to be a nurse."

Anyways, after you get years of experience and you become the achieved nurse that you want to be, don't forget about your story with Nancy. Most of all don't become her please! I'm in pre-nursing right now and am looking forward to the profession, but all the horrible orientation stories i hear about make a lott of nurses look like some sort of immature college fraternity.

But look at it this way, maybe one day you'll be orienting fresh nurses, too. From your experience, you could either go Nancy's route, or be a more mature professional nurse.

Also, one day when you get older, maybe, just maybe, you'll be taking care of her. How funny would that be :chuckle

Hah!! Trust me, I could NEVER be like her!!! I just don't have it in me. I have my days when I'm grouchy or on edge or PMSing, just like everyone else, but this beats all I've ever seen. It's sunshine and rainbows one day and hurricane Katrina the next! And, in one way, I'm glad for it, you're right, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger....you have to understand I do NOT like to complain, but with this I've really been afraid of losing my sanity!!

BTW, it's funny you should mention her being old and being taken care of. Just today, she and a doc (that she was sucking up to) were talking about what horrible patients they would be when they got in the nursing home. Doc: yeah, you'll be awful- I'll bet they'll give you enemas every day!!

Nancy: Yeah, that'll be the closest thing I've had to sex in a long time!!!

So......maybe THAT"S what her problem has been all along.....hhhmmmm...

:doh:

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

In my other life I was a Police Sergeant and had to deal with new employees all the time. Never in my life, though I had witnessed it by others, would I subject a new employee to belittlement and this kind of petty harassment. It is funny to see how in most nursing situations everyone gets so compartmentalized and act like Switzerland...'not my problem.' But if your NM knew about this already she is part of the problem letting this tool(aka: Nancy)operate/Precept and collect extra pay to do it. Good going by sticking it out!

Nancy: Yeah, that'll be the closest thing I've had to sex in a long time!!!

So......maybe THAT"S what her problem has been all along.....hhhmmmm...

:doh:

Hahahahaha!

UPDATE

AND

ANOTHER QUESTION:

Today I was put with a nurse that is the education coordinator, and she knew a little bit about what was going on,.... but dang me, I spilled a lot of beans, such as I've NEVER seen "Nancy" wash her hands or put a stethoscope to ANYBODY, not to mention that when she charts her focused assessments, she writes things such as HOB up 30 degrees, breathing treatments q4, bedrest, etc......- nursing interventions... SO, it all came out that there were a LOT of things that I have not been shown the correct way how to do- orders, etc....

BTW, my original plan was to just stick it out without telling anyone what was going on, and then when I got off orientation, do things MY way- assess, chart like I was taught in school, etc.....

Anyhow, I'm afraid I opened up a giant can of worms, because there were apparently a LOT of people not doing things the right way- documentation, etc., and so now I hope I am not flogged at the post!!

The nurse from today, and the NM assure me that it will not get out that I was the one to bring up how things are being done, but I am skeptical...

They talked about that they would do "orientation debriefings" for everyone, including, what went right, what went wrong, etc., plus have a general "this is what we do in orientation and this is what we don't do" meeting. The charge nurse said she's had to talk to Nancy before, regarding her treatment of new nurses. They're giving a blanket lecture, instead of dealing with the one bad apple.

So, now that I have laid it out on the table, do yall think I have royally screwed myself, and if so, how do I deal with it???? Good Lord, why wasn't I strong enough to just stick it out??!! :banghead:

Again, thank yall for your advice- it is MUCH needed.....this is a whole new shark tank for me, and I want it to eventually be a goldfish pond..

:icon_hug:

Specializes in PMHNP.

You don't work in Memphis, TN do you? I could swear you worked at my hospital. Seriously, I think people love to stick it to new grads. I am hoping like you that I can just make it through the next 2 weeks and pretend like orientation never happened!!

Specializes in Medical-Surgical, Informatics.

dear sparketteinok,

i am in 2nd semester in nursing and i want to tell you that i want to be like u in a sense of telling the NM whats wrong nd stuff. just continue doin d right thing in nursing. you can do it! patients really appreciate what you do! if i was ur patient id be happy :D:loveya::nurse::bow:

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Another "Nancy" encounter: I came in early-as usual-the other night and "Nancy clone" couldn't wait to jump off her more than ample rump and excitedly tell me "Don't even bother putting your stuff down you got floated to ICU..HAHA!" I asked if she was coming in in the moring She said "Yes why?" I returned 'well then that is a plus side to this story...I won't have to see you!' The entire desk burst out laughing. The ICU coordinator came in for the AM and offered me a position. FIGHT THE NANCIES!!!

So what about asking Nancy (in an innocent, by golly way) things like, "But Nancy, you told me to order them from the cafeteria? Did you find them here? Show me where so I can do it next time" with a huge smile, wide eyes, etc. If you point out her miscommunications in such a beguiling way, perhaps she will start to be embarrassed. I mean, the worst that can happen is she acts like a beast--oh wait she already does! If she asks the doc to ask you about a certain patient, say,"Oh, Dr.___ that one is Nancy's. I have room _,_,_,_,_,_ and_. Sorry." And if she shouts out answers to questions posed to you before you get to answer, "Thanks, Nancy. I need to write that one down so I can answer it next time." Always give her good ole sugar to her face while showing her vinegar side to everyone around. People will catch on if they haven't already. The reason I recommend this tactic is so she sees you aren't a wimp that she can continue to sabotage when you are working the floor with her after orientation. And remember, you are where she once was, and she probably had someone treat her poorly. So instead of being like her and repeating mistakes, be a friendly preceptor when your turn comes. End the cycle.

Specializes in Telemetry/Cardiac Floor.
Yes this is the "ideal" thing to do...but I wouldn't advise it. I graduated in May also and just left my organization because I had a similar experience with a well connected preceptor. I asked for another preceptor but everyone will know why, you'll be seen as not being "flexible" and "thin skinned" and more people will pounce on you. Good luck...just hang in there! I would have but a lot more than this was going on! Just don't put your license in jeapardy. Keep me updated. *hugs*

You're right. This is how it is in the real world.

Specializes in Ortho, Case Management, blabla.

Orientation sucks. I was so happy when I got off it. If you feel like you are learning, then she is doing her job. If you feel like you are not, then you should ask for a different preceptor. Simple as that.

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