Hang in there new Grads and New Nurses it does get better..I PROMISE - page 6

So I haven't been on this board for a while. I have been an R.N. for 1 1/2 years now, where I started as a brand spanking new grad in Interventional Cardiology/CCU Stepdown/Critical Care..woohoo... Read More

  1. by   BieMarRN
    Quote from Morettia2
    So I haven't been on this board for a while. I have been an R.N. for 1 1/2 years now, where I started as a brand spanking new grad in Interventional Cardiology/CCU Stepdown/Critical Care..woohoo although I would have not said woohoo about 6 months ago...I have been reading alot of the recent posts and I feel like that was and still is me.

    This board for 1st year nurses saved me from quitting my job numerous times. I came here and still come here to rant, whine, ******, complain, tell how great/horrible my shift was, and mostly for advice from others like me.

    I was on here every morning when I got home from work just posting, finding others that posted that I could relate to and for support. I found comfort on this site b/c I could talk about work and problems and know that other nurses were going through the same crap/learning exp. if you want to call them that, that I was and still am going through.

    I had a horrible first year as a new RN. If anyone had time one day you can read all my posts about how miserable I was and sometimes still am. But I know one thing I love being a nurse.

    I endured all the abuse and nurse eating their young in the worst way, I was chewed up and spit out then rechewed and spit out a few times, like how a cow had 2 stomachs and regurgates their food only to be redigested...haha I don't know if that's true but it's the best one I could come up with.

    I had never worked night's EVER in my life and when I went from day shift orientation which was 8 weeks to night shift orientation which was 4 weeks then to permenant night shift last year I hated my life. I hated it up untill..well I still hate it from time to time. It was had to break through with my night shift crew. It was AWFUL...I had no support, I would ask questions and have no one answer me, I was new so I was talked down to from my fellow nurses and MD's, unit clerks and staff. I was CONSTANTLY running in circles, I had no friends or just one person i could talk to. I was laughed at when calling for RRT's or CODES b/c everyone thought I was overreacting. I was also the only white american nurse comming onto the night shift crew in the last 10 years. I was working with a mostly Filipino/Indian staff. I didn't understand their language or why no one wanted to talk to me. I am a very out going person that usually gets along with everyone. I see people for who they are, PEOPLE, hence the reason I became a Nurse.

    I was given the MOTHER of all pt. assignments everynight. Never had 5 min. to think and had a ton of questions b/c I was a NEW NURSE. When I asked the questions, it was always the same reaction, like I should know the answer, DUH?? Well if I knew the answer I wouldn't be asking in the first place...UGGGGG....and at night I never knew who to call, what MD, resident..I wasn't pushy yet with the MD's to eval. the pt's so I would just say ok when they would not come and then ask what do I do now...what a ******* headache.

    I never stood up for my self when it came to assignments or admissions. Like I have had the first admission for the last 2 nights in a row and this is my 3rd night, and I am the only one who had been here for 3 nights in a row, and why am I getting the first admission agian on my 3rd night when this is the first night working for the rest of the RN's I am working with? Why don't they have 1st admission?

    I was abused by the day shift RN's in the AM when I would give report. It would take me forever to give report in the AM. I would be grilled with 1000 questions and would not leave untill well past 10am...yea 15 hour shifts were commom for me...and when I got report at night at the start of my shift the day shift RN's would half A$$ report to me b/c they knew they could get away with it,leaving me with unfinished orders or phone calls that should have been made during their shift and I mean EARLY in their shift, and they would leave me floundering in the AM eventhough I checked the chart multiple times, for answers and explinations that I felt like an idiot b/c I didn't know.

    I was left with blood transfusions that could have been done during the day, on top of pt's comming from the cath lab back to back with arterial femoral sheaths that, ME, the RN had to pull. Which I didn't even know what a femoral arterial sheath was untill I started working on my unit AS A NEW GRAD.

    I was told my first night off orientation I had to pull a sheath..ok at that point I knew what it was but had not pulled one on orientation. WELL TOO BAD...I PULLED A SHEATH....with supervision of course and having a major anxiety attack...well from that point on I had ALL the pt.'s with sheaths. I was pulling all the time.

    NOW there is this night shift understanding that b/c we are 1/2 the staff of days we pull sheaths no matter what. It was about March this year I was about 6 months into my frist year of nursing and I was telling the day shift RN I pulled the sheath on her pt. The nursing educator overheard me say this and said, "Ang YOU DID WHAT????" I said "I pulled the sheath"....like I had done about 30 times before but didn't say that...the educator said to me, " ANGIE you are not susposed to be pulling sheaths untill 6 months off orientation." HAHA little did I KNOW THAT, they had me pulling them my first night off orientation4 months ago..I didn't tell her that...She gave me some lecture and a bunch of paper work and then said, "WELL It's you're license if something happens". Then she banned me from pulling sheaths....HAHAHAHAHA This is the main procedure on my floor for night shift RN's post PTCA/RHC/LHC. Well that bann lasted all of 1 week b/c my night shift manager told the educator and the unit director how good I was at sheath pulling...and my night shift manager said to me, "Ang at night we do things differently as you can tell." With in 3 weeks of that conversation I had my sheath pulling certification, the fastest any new grad has ever had...

    Well as of last night I pulled my 100th sheath. The most ever for a new nurse in a year and a half on my floor. I even teach the RN's how to pull and have MD's ask if I can help them..

    Anyway...recently I had some day shift RN's whine about how I made them put an IV in a pt before they left at night, had she the nerve to say to me, "Ang you need to learn how to put IV's in a pt blah blah blah." This was a month ago. I flipped out on the RN who said this and said, "Every pt. you give me at night has a blown or expired IV that I have to restart, I replace about 5 IV's a night, so don't tell me how I have to LEARN to start an IV, b/c I restart all of yours."

    IV's were a thing that I could not get to save my life. I sucked at starting IV's. I MEAN HORRIBLE!!! I tried and tried but I sucked. I finally got it one night, and from that night on I can put a line in anyone. I ,*exctied* ,have become one of the RN's that if another RN can't start a line they come to for IV placement, so when that Day shift RN said that to me I was ready to flipp...

    I have been charge nurse a few times, which is not worth the extra $1 an hour but looks good on a resume. I have become a resourse nurse for new night shift RN's. I have also become the night shift cardiac resource RN. I have my senior night shift RN's, who ignored me when I first started, asking me questions. I have learned to stick up for my self when it comes to pt. assignments and admissions. I am no longer passive to MD's bullying, b/c I know the MD's and they know me. I have gotten into numerous arguments with MD's and not felt bad about it. If I have a problem I make SURE someone listens to me, and if I call a resident I make SURE their butt is on my floor to eval the pt. and if not I call untill they come eval. the pt, and I don't care if they don't cover the attending taking care of the pt. they are a TELE resident for a reason. I call the MD's at 3am if the residents are being retarted. I call the House MD all the time b/c I am not friends with all of them. Even if they don't cover the MD they still come anyway.

    I no longer put up with the BS from my fellow nurses that I did for so long. It was like something clicked a few months ago. I just got fed up and like my one unit clerk who abused the heck out of me, literally I hated her I mean hated her, but now she is one of my dear friends said, "Angie, when did you become a real RN, and grew a pair of you know what? Honey you have arrived. Don't let anyone give you crap, your true nurse emerged and you are damn good at it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It took a while for you to come into your own but your patients love you, you give the night shift a different attitude, you laugh, you don't tolerate crap from anyone and you are one of the best nurses I have ever seen."

    I also learned the cultures from the Indian and Filipino nurses and what they did in their hospitals in their countries.

    My nursing assistants gave me an appreciation award plaque that is engraved with my name that hangs on my wall in my guest room under my College Diplomas..Both my B.S. and my A.S.N. and my dual state licenses in PA and NJ to remind me why I became a nurse.I have been named in the Press Ganey for patient satisfaction, and have been sent cards and the best feeling is when you see a pt. and they recognize you from a previous hosp. stay and remember your name and give you a hug it's the best feeling. My Night Shift Nurse manager has told me numerous times, "Ang if there is a Junior Registered Nurse of the Year Award, I would give it to you." She has also told my director of nursing for my floor about this. She has told me, "Ang you are a good nurse, and you grew and over came the transition of being a new nurse on a critical care floor as your first job, and also the cultural bounds that you faced being the first white american nurse on nights in 10 years working with nurses from different cultures, you did not discriminate or judge, you are one of us, a Nurse. I know it was hard for you moving away from home to an area you are unfamiliar with, no friends and as a new nurse. But you are one of us now"...she told me this last night.

    As much as I hated my first year and it sucked ALOT..i have made friends for life..IT TOOK TIME, and I never thought I would say I REALLY DO LOVE MY FLOOR. I will alway give my all as a Nurse and people respect that. YEA it sucks at first, I KNOW..and it still sucks most nights but I built a home...

    AS NEW NURSES YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT TIME..YOU WILL HAVE THAT EPIPHANY..YOU WILL BREAK THROUGH....I can honestly say some of the people I hated the most..are the best thing that ever happened to me..it has made who I am today ...

    hope this inspires some of you!!!:heartbeat

    Sorry so long I just wanted to say IT DOES GET BETTER


    Its so nice to read this, thanks for posting it. It actually gives me some hope. I graduated from nursing school 2yrs ago, currently working on a med surg unit . its crazy!!! its my first year but i realized am not a med surg nurse at all. The area i love is maternal child health but havent had the opportunity yet to work there. In fact older nurses can be really mean and MDs sometimes are even worst. Am still in that transition were everyone tries to step all over me. I read a previous post of you were you mentioned you work at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center. I am currently applying for a Mother/ Baby position there. Had apply many other times for L&D but no response from them at all. I just basically wanted to ask someone who works there how is the hospital? I currently have ASN but atttending school for my BSN. Are they hiring people w/o BSN? am just so anxious to work in OB and would like some advice. Thanks
  2. by   AK_Me
    Thank you for sharing your story. I am so glad to have found this post. I have hope. I feel like I am such a crybaby-I cried after the second time orienting on nights. I have been stressed and the unit that I am orienting on is overworked and understaffed. So, yeah, I don't think I got the appropriate orientation on the day shift. I just finished my first week on the nights orientation and it was terrible. They expect me to know everything and they complain about each other behind each others' backs. A few of the nurses gave encouragement and said that a lot of the nurses that ate the young were gotten rid of. Hmm. That might be encouraging. There are a few still around. It was hard to go back and I can relate w/how even the PSAs and clerks treat new nurses. I did not even get all my passwords to all the programs so I do not have experience ordering labs and simple things on the computer. A couple of the nicer nurses came to give me encouragement-unfortunately they are all working days. They said they were in the same situation when they started out and they survived and said I can too. I hope I can survive the treatment. I am emotional and need to be more outspoken. I need to not take things personally. I chose to be a nurse and I want to be a good nurse. I also do not want to get caught up in the bickering and talking behind backs that I see. I have 3 school-aged children and a very supportive husband who works days now. He worked nights while I was in nursing school so it's my turn. He was able to handle nights, I can too. I hope. I suppose there are the same types of people in other depts and fields so I can handle it here. I finished the BS nursing and passed the NCLEX. Thanks for the encouragement.
  3. by   cubby1969
    Hi I'm in my last quarter of nursing school and need to

    "Talk with at least 2 nursing graduates who have been working as nurses for anywhere from 3 months to 3 years. Ask them about their socialization to nursing after graduation. Did either of them experience reality shock? How long did it last? Did they recover from the shock? If so, how?

    I would appreciate any responses that you might have.

    Thanks in advance!!
  4. by   denashea1RN
    Thanks for your post. This gives me hope. I am a new grad. who was lucky enough to get a first position on a VERY busy surgical floor, well 80%surgical/20% medical. I have worked at this hospital for 12 years in the lab as a Phlebotomist. I got my RN license and, after 3months of trying, I got position up on the floor as a Nurse. I had 6 weeks of orientation. I have been on my own for 3 weeks. This past week, I had a heavy assignment. 5 pt's.- 2 new post-ops and one of my pt's went to the OR then came back to me. Plus, two others were extremely difficult pt's. who were having problems with pain control. I was asked to stay late as there was a call-out. My shift was 1500 to 2300. I agreed to stay until 0300. Not thinking ahead, my bad, I soon realized that I had to pick-up 3 more pt's. for a total of 8. My night was hell. I tried the very best I could to keep up with pt. care. When my relief came in at 0300, I gave report and thought everything was o.k. I went to a corner of the nursing unit to document on the computer. In a little while, I overheard the on-coming nurse speaking with one of the third-shift nurses....obviously they did not realize I was there....and I realized they were talking about me....about how I was "off training" and should have done better.....it took me a few minutes to realize they were talking about ME!!!! Who tried to do a favor and stay late....Who is a New Grad and tried to do her best!!!!! Instead of coming to me, and letting me know if there were issues with anything....so I could correct things and make them better....these nurses thought it would be better to talk about me!!!!! I was sooooo disheartened....
  5. by   Leasha:)
    Reading this has made me feel loads better I am due to graduate in March and im on my management placement at the moment which is scary, and sometimes I feel really stupid because I never know who to phone or when and what dr does what, I really dont feel as though I know enough to be doing the job by myself in 2 months. Looks like im not the only one who feels his way, its nice to hear other peoples experiences thank you x
  6. by   chuym
    Expect to be un/under employed, folks. Remember, the nursing management doesn't care about you or you skills that you know you have.
  7. by   anissaamadea
    WOW that made me feel better and I haven't even started my first job yet. I think it's going to happen soon so I bookmarked this. I will read it every time I freak out.
  8. by   jillpr
    I was just hired in Puerto Rico as a new grad ASN (finishing my BSN here) and was so terrified about actually starting that I scrambled to Allnurses to see if I could be calmed or if I was just the cheese standing alone on this. This helped! Thanks! But I'm still so nervous about the learning curve, the limited orientation that I know I will (or won't) be given (which is just the way it works here), and the Spanish! Yikes! Though I speak Spanish as a second language, it's so challenging for me to express my thoughts about something I'm already just learning like nursing, and to feel super comfortable speaking to patients. I'm afraid my nerves will be debilitating. The next 6 months will be a challenge for sure! But again, helps way tons to read stories like yours
  9. by   CranberryMuffin
    Thank you for this post.....it helped me so much. Been going through a rough patch in my first year and really need a boost.
  10. by   abbyann
    I am a new LPN, a good one and a quick learner. But I will leave the profession if my new job is as horrible as my current one. I'm talking about nurses trying to sabotage me because they want my hours, administrators who $%^* on me if my CNA's do a lousy job, then ^&*% on me if I try to write them up. I've had enough.
  11. by   y'allhirin
    Quote from abbyann
    I am a new LPN, a good one and a quick learner. But I will leave the profession if my new job is as horrible as my current one. I'm talking about nurses trying to sabotage me because they want my hours, administrators who $%^* on me if my CNA's do a lousy job, then ^&*% on me if I try to write them up. I've had enough.
    You're right, it is not going to get better, if you see the same lazy,lousy and with dirty tactics co-workers. Every floor has their own drama, it is not gonna get better unless you take charge of the floor lolGet your year or two experience and work somewhere else!
  12. by   Ado Annie
    OP... wherever you are now... thank you!!!! I've just worked my first week. The first night was AWFUL. I invested a lot into going to nursing school after a long first career, then moved halfway across the US for this job, and I felt so incompetent. Being up all night kicked my butt and .. well... it was bad. The next nights were better, and I'm a little more hopeful now, but still stressing out. Your post was just what I needed to hear!
  13. by   turnforthenurse
    I have been on my own for awhile now, and I am nearing the end of my "probation" in about a couple of weeks...

    I still love my job, but I still can't help the fact that I always feel like I'm forgetting to do something, or if I'm "missing something." It's like a constant state of anxiety. I have woken up from a deep sleep in a panic because I think I forgot to chart something. My coworkers have assured me that this is normal...but it sucks! lol