if they can send a man to the moon...

Specialties Emergency

Published Jan 16, 2002

Uptoherern, RN

337 Posts

Specializes in Emergency Room.

if they can send a man to the moon, then why can't they:

-make a white (or blue for that matter) charcoal?

-make a truth serum for all who enter the er?

-if not a truth serum, at least a pain wand that can be waved over the patient..sort of like a pregnancy test..pink-yes they really are having pain, blue= no narcs for you!

-let us say "why yes! we really are understaffed, we are always understaffed and what you have does not qualify as an emergency...be gone"

-make a bed with an automatic-bedpan-butt-washer attachment, in which the patient hits a button, bedpan comes up, goes down, butt washed and bedpan dumped into sewage pipe under bed. I should get a patent...

-make iv drug users start their own iv's...

-make doc's who say "we" need to get an ng down this guy, do it themselves.

-require every confused patient to have a non-confused (hopefully helpful) relative with them 24/7.

-invent an iv tray that regenerates supplies as they are removed.

-let us have one of those hair-dresser things like on the cartoon "the Jetson's" for the homeless people. Or invent a device that comes down from the ceiling and engulfs their entire body, clothes and all up to the neck, wash, rinse, fluff and dry...voila! Look ma! I only used ONE alcohol wipe on his arm, and it came away CLEAN! :) Then onto the hair...

can you think of any others?

what about an iv cath with a cloting mechanism at the tip that is only activated when the iv is d/c'd, so that if (when) a pt. pulls their iv out, a clot is activated and there is no bleed! Of course, all bleeding eventually stops...