if they can send a man to the moon...

  1. if they can send a man to the moon, then why can't they:
    -make a white (or blue for that matter) charcoal?
    -make a truth serum for all who enter the er?
    -if not a truth serum, at least a pain wand that can be waved over the patient..sort of like a pregnancy test..pink-yes they really are having pain, blue= no narcs for you!
    -let us say "why yes! we really are understaffed, we are always understaffed and what you have does not qualify as an emergency...be gone"
    -make a bed with an automatic-bedpan-butt-washer attachment, in which the patient hits a button, bedpan comes up, goes down, butt washed and bedpan dumped into sewage pipe under bed. I should get a patent...
    -make iv drug users start their own iv's...
    -make doc's who say "we" need to get an ng down this guy, do it themselves.
    -require every confused patient to have a non-confused (hopefully helpful) relative with them 24/7.
    -invent an iv tray that regenerates supplies as they are removed.
    -let us have one of those hair-dresser things like on the cartoon "the Jetson's" for the homeless people. Or invent a device that comes down from the ceiling and engulfs their entire body, clothes and all up to the neck, wash, rinse, fluff and dry...voila! Look ma! I only used ONE alcohol wipe on his arm, and it came away CLEAN! Then onto the hair...

    can you think of any others?

    what about an iv cath with a cloting mechanism at the tip that is only activated when the iv is d/c'd, so that if (when) a pt. pulls their iv out, a clot is activated and there is no bleed! Of course, all bleeding eventually stops...
    Last edit by Uptoherern on Jan 16, '02
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   shootemrn
    All I want is Ativian in mist form to be spread evenly over the waiting room.
  4. by   Jen911
    How about if we put ativan in those plug-in room freshener thingies??

    I always thought a nice valium salt-lick would be nice in the waiting room, too..

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