Long story but to make things short, i have been a CTICU nurse for 2 years and worked at the same hospital in the same unit for almost 10 years. Things (life in general) were getting too "routine" for me and I wanted a change so, I decided to make a drastic change and completely relocated to another state. I accepted a position in a CVICU at a small local hospital in the area and have been there for about 3 months now.
I HATE everything about the hospital that I literally cry everyday I have to go to work, I hate it THAT much!!
Now I love life in my new state but absolutely can't stand my job. My job is very important to me and I have NEVER in my life hated my job or dreaded going to work like I do now.
For starters, I used to work in a very large hospital and had everything I ever needed at my fingertips. The unit was very challenging, which I loved and is a lot of the reason I enjoy being a critical care nurse to begin with. Also I am still a new enough nurse that I feel like I NEED that challenge. The hospital I am in now is.....very different - to say the least. From the hospital as a whole to the unit itself, it is just complete and utter chaos. And the ICU pts are basically floor pts to me. I feel like I am paying $40,000 in student loans I acquired to become a nurse to sit and stare at walls, it's that bad!! The pay is good and it's easy but not for me.
The area that I relocated to offers very limited job opportunities for a nurse if you want the high end, fast paced, challenging sick pts. The closest big hospital similar to my previous one is 2 hours away, and I've seriously been thinking about just moving back "home". When you work a 12 hour night and drive 2 hours to work and 2 hours home, it just sounds ridiculous to me, BUT in my career as a nurse, I believe I would be much happier at the larger hospital.
I have no family here but a very good day care here for my children. My fiancÚ absolutely loves it here all around and the thought of going back home is not even an option in his mind. Do I just give up and go back "home" (without my fiancÚ) or do I suck it up, apply to the larger hospital and take the drive to be happy in my career??
I am at a complete and utter loss but also completely miserable where I am. At the end of the day a paycheck isn't worth compromising your happiness!!
Any thoughts?? Please and thank you!!