I posted a thread previously detailing my experiences starting out as a CNA in a LTC facility and how I quit as a result of the harassment and bullying from fellow aides. I was 3 weeks in and very new and inexperienced, and therefore struggling to keep up with a heavy workload (although I was getting better) and the other aides gave me a hard time because of it. I was routinely given dirty looks, talked down to, badmouthed, even screamed at and cussed out a few times. I was doing my best to tough it out until one day, I was on my lunch break at my other job when I received a threatening phone call from another aide; she was yelling at me and threatening to call the cops on me for something I didn't even do. I was still in the orientation/probationary period and left without giving notice, which I realize now was the wrong thing to do but I was quite upset at the time and not thinking straight, and was being advised to just leave immediately by people concerned for my safety -- if it was that bad to the point where I was getting called up on the phone and threatened, who's to say I wouldn't get beaten up or something the next time I went there?
The DoN actually called me a few days later asking what happened and wanting me to come back, but unfortunately I'd already gone back to my original schedule at my old job working in fast food. She described me as having a "heart of gold" but needing to work on having a tougher exterior, and told me that apparently a nurse had put in a good word for me -- saying that she'd never seen two brand new aides work together as well as a friend and I did one night, which surprised me cause I honestly felt like I was pretty lousy. I did agree to go back as a PRN employee, but I am barely working there anymore and honestly I can't say I'd be surprised (or blame them) if they wind up laying me off entirely due to there not being work available for me.
My question is, if I decide to work elsewhere as a CNA, either in home health or at another LTC facility, will I even be able to? I'm worried that my bad history at this facility will follow me around and cause problems with me getting another job, that they'll contact them and find out I left without giving notice and not hire me as a result, in which case I realize it's no one's fault but my own. I just have a whole lot of regrets about this whole set of circumstances and wish I'd done things differently. I usually pride myself on being a good person and always trying to do the right thing, but unfortunately here is one situation where I didn't. I wish I'd stuck around and toughed it out, not let the bullies get to me and kept at it until I got better, but unfortunately that didn't happen. I'm working 5 days a week at my fast food job and while I don't mind it there and I'm treated very well by everyone, I'd rather not work in fast food forever. My original goal was to have a career taking care of the sick or elderly and one I'd still like to pursue one day if possible.