Families Who Are Too Controlling! (Pet Peeve)

  1. I Hope I am putting this in the right section. I'm writing this as an NAR soon to be CNA who works in an AFH with a handful of elderly residents who are still able to do their ADLs themselves but for a little cueing/reminding. One of the biggest pet peeves I have is the over controlling family member. For instance if the resident is perfectly capable of picking out their own clothes in the morning, but their loved one wants them in a certain outfit no matter how they, the resident feels about it. Or if there is a certain TV show that the resident has watched for years and really enjoys it and looks forward to it but their family has never approved of them watching it so they take it upon themselves to have the show and/or channel blocked on their relative's TV set. I have seen both of these examples happen throughout my 18 years of caregiving and it always rubs me the wrong way when I see the elderly treated like children and what decisions they can still make for themselves taken away. Have any of you experienced anything like these examples and what was your solution/reaction? Of course, I tried to find a way to please both the resident, them more importantly, and their family if possible. Sometimes that's not always possible especially if their loved one is dead set on wearing their favorite orange polka dot blouse and lime green slacks and their family is complaining of them being embarrassed by their relative's outfit all I can do is try to be supportive and help them look on the bright side that it makes their loved one happy to wear what they want or, as for TV, watch what they want to watch on their private TV.
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    About Skayda, CNA

    Joined: Mar '12; Posts: 182; Likes: 55
    Specialty: 20+ year(s) of experience in DD, Mental Health, Geriatric


  3. by   mvm2
    Your response to the family member of them being happy to wear that or watch that show is the perfect response. It reminds the family members that it is all about the resident and their comfort and happiness. We as CNA's or caregivers can not force our opinions on clothing or tv watching on our residents. These are Major points that are drilled in us when we take our CNA classes. The residents have rights that we can not violate.