Moving

kmchugh · Jun 17, 2002

Who makes the decisions about your life? You, or your mother? If your mother is widowed, can she move with you? Personally, I see your dilemma, but you have to consider the long term effects and benefits of each career. It sounds to me as though if you become an NP, you may spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?"

Kevin McHugh

live4today, RN · Jun 17, 2002

I agree with Kevin on this one. Take your mom along with you - if that is what it takes for you to pursue your life's dream. If she is stubborn - like my mom - and won't go, tell her you love her, and you will do what you can to help her, but that you ARE going to the CRNA school with or without her. You say she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, so at least you don't have to worry that you left her an invalid without any way to help herself. BTW: How "elderly" is your mom, and are you the only child? Does your mom have other family or close friends nearby who are a help to her? You must live your life, as your mother has already done. It's unfair of her to hold you back out of selfishness on her part. She should be encouraging you to do whatever you need to do to make a life for yourself. :)

Qwiigley, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, CRNA · Jun 17, 2002

Dear "Moving"

Seems to me that you have already made up your mind and that you are looking for someone to make it ok. To give you permission to do something that you yourself feel is selfish.

Before you make the decision to do anything about either school, start making changes in your life and help your mother to make changes in hers so that either decison that you make will not depend on the circumstances, but what you really feel is your calling.

You need to have a minimum (in most reputable schools) of 1 year of critical care experience before applying to CRNA school. Many of the people i have talked to suggest much longer. NP schools provide a wide range of opportunities; pediatrics, family and geriatrics among them. If your health is bad, will you be able to tolerate standing for 8-12 hours at a time during surgeries?

This decision is more about the right choice and less about the $. Be careful, take over a year to decide. Once you get your masters degree, you are pretty much stuck there.... its not as easy to change your mind.

I'd love to hear your response.

PS You are still very young, the decision does not have to be made today.:)

jfpruitt · Jun 18, 2002

Thanks everyone for the input. I guess I needed validation. Yes, mom is fully capable of taking care of herself(she's approaching 62, so not technically elderly hehe). In fact, after my dad died when I was 1, she took care of 3 kids all alone for 18 years. Then, I had a brain cancer as a kid and she even did that all alone. However, now that I've been so independent, she has started to rely and base her sole happiness on me. She doesn't do anything without me. All her family is here, but she wont even go visit them without me. For example, her sister's bday was yesterday and lives about 10 minutes away. Instead of going by herself while I was out of town, she waits until tonight and I have to take her over there. I refused, and she is mad. Everyone tells me I need to move out and live my life, but the guilt would kill me. I guess b/c she took care of me so well when I was sick and paid for all my medical bills and meds on a low income salary working long hours at a factory, I feel 'debted' to her. She always says she'll follow me if I leave, so, I guess that's what she'll do. I just have a hard time saying no to her b/c she depends on me so much. I love her, she is my best friend, but I need to live my life like she did at my age. I get so mad b/c she puts me in this position. UGHHH. Anyways, thanks so much for listening!!!!! As for my health, its still not the best, but I'm doing better and dam@ed, determined to do CRNA. NP would be nice also, but like Kevin said, there's always a "what if". I had at once been accepted to med school, but declined acceptance after my doc's advice. He suggested RN, CRNA, and NP as a great alternative. After doing the research, I'm so grateful to him for suggesting a much better career(IMHO). I've had some set backs last fall, but doing fine now and hopefully from now ON!! I've rambled again. Thanks again.......

AL bug · Jun 18, 2002

Hey Jennifer, I know this must be a tough position for you. I have a couple of pieces of advice. 1. Make sure you get the family dynamics under control before you start in a CRNA program. It is way too hard to be dealing with that. 2. Work a while in the ICU and decide how your body is going to hold up. ICU work is very, very demanding and may give you an idea of how long a shift you can endure at a time. It may also give you a better idea of whether you would like NP or CRNA. I know NP's who make $70,000 and work 8-5, Monday thru Thursday. This is not the typical set-up, but a lot of rural areas who are screaming for NP's. 3. How does your body respond to extra stress. CRNA school is a taxing time, mentally, physically,etc. Then the job is demanding. I just want you to do what you want to do. Face it. You want to have no regrets after you have reached your goal. Make sure it's the one Jennifer chose.

bug

TEXASWAG, MSN, RN · Jun 18, 2002

jfpruitt,

Hey, I sent you a pm.