Would anyone mind reading/giving feedback on my personal essay?

[bkingren1031]

Hi all,

I applying to a extremely competitive BSN program.

With mostly decent grades, I'm hoping to slam my essay out of the park.

So if anyone has the time/patience to read it through I would be extremely grateful....Thank you!

Also does anyone know how much the essays are generally taken into account when applying?

Any input would be really really helpful!

In the essay I had to incorporate these questions:

Why have you chosen to pursue nursing as a career?

Why do you want to pursue baccalaureate preparation in nursing?

What qualities do you believe you possess that will enable you to perform effectively as a student and later as a practicing nurse?

How can nursing address and improve global healthcare needs

Nursing is an outstanding career that is both challenging and rewarding. I believe the infinite reward that one can gain can be successfully satisfied in the field of nursing through the support, and care for others. Though nursing is not for everyone, I believe I have the qualities that are vital for individuals to work in a dynamic environment. It is not only essential to describe why I have chosen to pursue this field, but why I believe I have what it entails to perform above and beyond the demanding and challenging tasks that are necessary in this profession.

In the past several years after being in and out of the hospital while visiting and caring for my ill grandmother, I was blessed with a chance to meet some of the most caring, intelligent and responsible people I have ever crossed paths with in my life. These amazing individuals were the nurses that directly cared and assisted for my grandmother. These nurses had sparked my interest in pursuing the field as they provided my grandmother with the care she needed, and by far exceeded the demanding expectations of a nurse. This seemed to completely complement my innate passion for helping others, and my increasing interest in the health sciences. These feelings implemented the idea of nursing in my mind, and as the idea evolved into an actual desire for the future, it further assisted me in my decision to pursue a nursing degree after high school, and proceed to help others in a way that I have always wanted to do.

Years later, after and presently working at Independent Group Home Living (IGHL), a non-profit agency dedicated to assisting the lives of the developmentally disabled, I had completely fortified my covet to expand my scope as a direct care counselor, and become a nurse. Working with the consumers of a residential program on a day to day basis, I believe that becoming a registered nurse will not only help me understand the medications and treatments I distribute to them daily, but will help me become closer to the consumers as I obtain more knowledge about the behaviors they exhibit. Aside from understanding them on a professional level more clearly, I believe I will be able to understand them on a personal level better and strengthen the relationship I have to the consumers.

Knowing there are many different routes to decide in pursuing the profession of a a registered nurse, I have taken careful consideration into my options. I am certain that pursuing a baccalaureate degree will suit my wants and needs better than any other option. I believe the baccalaureate degree will absolutely fulfill my need of a challenging and dynamic school environment. I also am certain that it will enable to me grow as a person in every way and enable to me to become an positive asset to anywhere I am fortunate enough to work. It will also enable and empower me to move forward in a nursing career. After obtaining a baccalaureate degree, I plan on obtaining a masters degree in nursing and than furthering on to achieving a license to practice as a nurse practitioner. I plan to do this to open of my doors of opportunity and be able to use my acquired and fortified skills in different ways with more responsibility.

Before one can successfully perform the duties as a nurse, I know that it is an absolute necessity to acquire new skills, and strengthen old ones to sufficiently perform the duties of a registered nurse. These skills need to be obtained from an excellent school with an enriched environment of different tasks. I am certain that I have what is needed to succeed in a exigent but stimulating environment. I possess excellent time management skills and am able to multi task in a wide-range of assignments. I use my time budgeting ability to successfully balance a full-time schedule of work and a full-time schedule of school. I am able to manage the two on a month to month basis without letting the stress of work interfere with the stress of school and vice versa. Not only does balancing school and work fulltime require an individual to possess time management skills, it is essential that one must also able to tackle a large workload (from both school and work) in a timely fashion, and without too much difficulty. I definitely possess that quality to be able to tackle any workload that comes in my path. I do not and will not let any obstacle that comes my way stop me from doing so. In addition to tackling large workloads, to be a successful student, especially for nursing, I believe it is imperative to have the proper social skills to coherently and positively interact with peers, students, co-workers and faculty. I love interacting with people at school and work, and I take pride in my ability to effectively communicate with others. I also believe that being able to cope with changes in a dynamic and vigorous environment, with a receptive view in being open to new ideas everyday is also crucial in being a successful student. I exhibit this quality as well and am always open to learning new things.

Though these qualities are an absolute necessity in being an efficacious, well rounded student prepared for nursing, they are also obligatory in performing the essential job functions as a practicing nurse. Possessing these qualities now, I not only am confident that I will have them in nursing school, but as they sharpen and become more keen with the addition of other attributes, I believe I will be passionate, caring and effective as a nurse. In addition to these qualities I am of absolute good moral character, and will always strive to be the best I can be. I do this with a strong sense of motivation and determination.

Nurses have a large list of responsibilities, and there is no doubt that there scope expands beyond that of just in a hospital, or nursing home environment. In collaboration with other health professionals, it is very plausible to say that nurses can and do improve global healthcare needs and problems. These can be addressed by educating those who need it. For example, certain treatments and preventative precautions may not be accessible in other countries and rural areas due to lack of funding, lack of formal education and/or even lack of healthcare at all. Nurses can help educate those who have medical problems themselves by giving them ways to prevent and help control certain issues. They can also be educated on getting help from fundamental resources such as government and local agencies. Also in collaboration with other health professionals, nurses can absolutely help diminish, or control worldwide health problems by assessing a population and intervening the issues on a large scale. I think the biggest impact would definitely be educating the less fortunate in third world countries where things such as AIDS, and fast-spreading diseases are prominent.

In essence, I am absolutely certain that nursing is the career that I want to pursue. It will quench my thirst to help others, and to help improve individual's lives. I am with no doubt confident that I have the qualities that are needed to not only be a successful student in nursing school, but to be an excellent asset as a practicing nurse. I know that obtaining my baccalaureate at Stonybrook University will take me through the right path of success. With dedication, motivation, and new abilities acquired, I plan to help improve individuals lives and educate them to be able to keep improving.