Venting About Difficult Clients

[Skayda]

Hello everyone. Just a warning; this is going to turn into a bit of a ranting vent. I've been working in LTC off and on for around 20 years and of course I've ran into the occasional dementia residents who just hate everything and mistake me for someone they dislike, etc, but for the most part most of my, for lack of a better word, sane and dementia, residents seem to like me and I do my best to bring a friendly, cheerful attitude with me to work so I've hardly ever had a resident who was "all there" dislike me. Until I started working in my current position in an adult family home caring for five heavy care memory impaired female residents and one male resident who has nothing wrong with his mind and he does most things other than bathing, cooking, cleaning and getting his own meds, himself. Now, I know I shouldn't care whether or not someone likes me but it does make my job and their emotional well-being a bit better if they are being cared for by someone they can tolerate at least. The women I care for are wonderful and they don't seem to have a problem with me, well, other than when Sundowner's sets in for one but I know it's not me, personally she is trying to kick and hit at when I walk by. (Lot of ducking and weaving! Lol). It's the one male resident who seems to have a bee in his bonnet over me for some reason. Here are some examples of the latest in me trying to appease him and it going south every time: In the Med book it says he is to get his bedtime meds between 7:00pm and 8:30pm depending on if I'm helping someone so there's an hour and a half leeway for him to get his bedtime meds. So, one night I bring them at 7:00pm and he tells me I brought them too early that he doesn't go to bed til 8:00pm. I apologized and the next night I brought them at 8:00pm and he tells me I'm late with them so I gently asked if I heard him wrong the night before when said I brought them too early at 7:00pm and he starts yelling at he calling me a liar. So, I brought it up to my boss who lives downstairs and she had the doctor FAX over a specific time for bedtime meds for him and now it's at 8:00pm no matter what. The next thing is he will do is make snide comments about everything I do and will demand me stop helping one of the other residents who are wheelchair bound and can't do the things he can do for himself for themselves to have me do things like turn his lamp on/off, fetch him some water, etc. He is more than capable of getting his own water he does it all the time, gets his own coffee in the morning and uses the ice maker in the fridge and turns off and on his own lamps, etc. He is not helpless. But, he will call me lazy and tell me I should be fired because I won't wait on him hand and foot like he seems to think caregivers are a new form of slave or something and he seems to think I should be helping him and his wife first above everyone else even if I'm right in the middle of helping another resident and I've seen him pull out the dining room chair for his wife and bring her her coffee and help her to the bathroom when we have our hands full and can't come right away. And the worst part is, I could accept most of it if he weren't so frustratingly rude. I have never heard him say please or Thank you once for what I or the other staff do for him because most of the time I will just bring him his water or turn off/on his lamp, etc. He will just demand I do it and that will be that. Once I told him that I would really appreciate it if he could please remember to say thank you and please when we help him and he says; "Why should I? It's your job, isn't it?" I'm not the only one he is unpleasant to; at the table if the other residents aren't eating fast enough to please him he will pound his fist on the table and yell at them to eat faster! I try not to let it show that it gets to me but some days at work I feel like I'm nothing but this old man's verbal punching bag, though, I also understand it's a control thing; he has lost so much control over his life that being a bully to the staff and sometimes the other residents gives him that sense of control back a little bit, and so, I just smile and go on with my day trying to keep my distance from him enough to do his basic care which isn't much and that's that and I am so happy to see my days off in the near future and think about writing this post to get some of my feelings off my chest. I would really appreciate it if anyone had any horror stories they could share about their most difficult residents/patients in LTC/HH. It would go a longer way toward making me feel less alone. Thank you and sorry for the long venting rant. Lol!