Usually a decisive person; NS decision not coming easily...

[241TwinMom]

I've debated on whether or not to start *another* thread on this topic, but decided to go ahead since I do not know any other person/group with more insight and expertise. I'm seeking answers or advice on some questions and concerns I have re: NS.

Quick background - I received by B.S. in Health Promotion in 2001. After graduating, I was lucky enough to get to sit in on a CABG during my internship at a cardiac rehab and have had an interest for nursing since. I worked in cardiac rehab for 2 yrs, but found it boring. Fast forward.. I got married, have gotten to stay home with my now almost 7 yr old twins since birth and decided to apply to NS this summer for Spring 2013 Entrance. I rushed to get my CPR cert & immunizations done by app deadline and I'm currently taking my 1 pre-req, Chem104, that I had left. (Was quite surprised everything else transferred being 10 yrs old!) I received my acceptance letter last week and I've been in a state of panic since. I thought by now, I would be over the shock and ready to jump in with both feet, but I become more resistant each day. Here are my concerns:

1. My kids. I've read many other successful stories of moms juggling school and their kids extracurricular activities. I luckily have a supportive husband & dont think that will be a problem. They all know mom would no longer be at every soccer practice, field trip, and be able to attend bday parties every weekend. My concern lies with my daughters feeling neglected. I never want to be "unavailable" emotionally to my kids, yet I know there might be times I am :/ A little freaked it will impact them negatively in a few yrs.

2. I'm terrified of the unknown as far as what I am expected to already know by Jan. I took some practice A&P and microbiology tests and scored less than desirable on them! Yet took some NCLEX practice tests and did better than expected on them. It has been 10+ years since I've taken these courses and an idea of exactly what I am expected to know like the back of my hand on Day 1 would help with my uneasiness!

3. I'm pretty sure I do not want to be a bedside nurse. *No tomato throwing please!* Is this abnormal for someone wanting to go into nursing? Is this a red flag? I love the hospital environment, but knowing my hyper nature, I simply dont think I would enjoy bedside. Surgery interests me. Which brings me to my last pt...

4. I have considered surgical tech as well. I am aware of the substantial pay difference, the very limited options with ST as well as the physical demands it involves. I know, typically, STs aren't respected in the same manner as RNs, but that wouldnt be an issue for me. ST school would be a walk in the park compared to NS, and not interrupt with family time. I *think* it would be low stress, yet exciting to be a part of surgical team day in and day out. Am I wrong? lol What I CANT find out is if its possible to get trained as a CST through a hospital. We have a program locally, a private college, that would cost 28K; I dont think its worth that. I see on job listings that previous training is a plus. What job do you look for to get training w.out certification?

Thank you for taking the time to listen. Any guidance would be very much appreciated. I'm honestly just completely torn & aggravated at myself for not being able to make a decision....