Trying to get into UPMC

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hey, Im trying to write an entrance essay for UPMC and I was just wanted some feedback on if I should change anything in the essay?

[COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][COLOR=#000000]From when I first took an anatomy class in high school, I have been interested in the human body. My life's passion has been to become a nurse. My love for science continued into college when I continued to study and take classes that dealt with medicine, the human body, and the mind. I love furthering my knowledge of the way our body functions. I loved the challenge my anatomy classes in college presented to me. I was always prepared to work as best as I could to learn the material I needed. Becoming a nurse takes dedication and hard work and the learning in the field never stop. I love furthering my knowledge and I'm always ready to learn something new. My goal has always to been to help people since I was little and when I knew that I loved the field of science becoming a nurse become a passion of mine. I love being around people and giving them the care they need to make their experience easier. I use to spend time in a nursing home with my youth group in just being able to help them and put a smile on their faces motivated me to pursue this dream. There was a lady when I would volunteer in the nursing home that I was always with and taking care of. I was always excited when I got to go see her and help her that day. It made me happy that I could make her day a little better by sometimes just talking to her or playing card games with her. I think that it's not only important to give them the right medicine and care but also to put them in the good happy environment. My hopes one day is to be able to continue this as an everyday thing. I choose UPMC because I think they will give me the best education in the skills I need to become a great nurse. A career is something you should enjoy every day and I'm lucky enough to find something I'm in love with doing.

Thanks for reading, fill free to give any comments![/COLOR]

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