trying to decide CNM or not?

[jenj1928]

I'm in the last year of my BSN degree and I'm applying for preceptorships and future GN opportunities and I'm trying to decide which way to go. My two favorite career path choices are in totally different directions, one is ICU and the other is towards midwifery. (I will be doing my masters degree either way) but with the ICU it stimulates my mind, I really get to think about the science behind the patient and I do truely enjoy that, I'm one who will always be looking for the challange and I have to be challenging myself, that's the basis for the masters as well, I set my limits high and always achieve my goals. My clinical instructors have said numerous times I'm very determined and will get where I want which may even include CRNA if I stick with the ICU path.

But then part of me really wants to look into labor and delivery and go for the certified nurse midwife degree, I had a clinical in L&D and told my instructor that I never wanted to go back, I was frustrated by the medical interventions to such a natural process. If the're not going fast enough give them pitocin, throw them in bed, monitor constantly (I know it's necessary with pitocin but they even did it for non pit deliveries!) encourange epidurals, give 'em all a foley, after delivery the moms never held the babies for over half an hour! and if the blood sugar was a touch low shove a bottle in them even after mom says she wants to breastfeed. No one walked, used a tub to relax, music, etc, heck the rn only went on the room to up the pit and then walked back to the monitor station to watch her patient only to wait another fifteen and up the pit again! get em to 20 so they go faster! ARGH!!! the rn's were even joking about who was going to get their patient to deliver first, it was a race and very frsutrating. So as you can tell this is something I feel very strongly about but I don't think it will ever change and even more reason for me not to go into that line of practice and frustrate myself further. Or do I go into it trying to change the world ( not very realistic but...) My best friend who is a Doula in MN said that my frustration is even more reason to stick with it, her words were "silly you, that's why you do have to go back to that unit!" of course she's had a good relationship with the RN's where she works/volunteers so she knows the tactful ways to get what her pt's need, lucky her! with the ICU I don't want to say that there's no emotional attachment because that sounds wrong but it's not like I'm against ventilators of vaso drips or anything like that!LOL! The ICU is the right place for all the medical interventions and it does fascinate me how fast pt's can react to vaso drip changes, how vents work and how anesthesia can do what it does for the body etc... But the focus would be on the science of nursing and of course there would be the personal touches and dealing with families and all just not the passion and personal emotional attachment I'd have to midwifery.

so I'm really torn and don't know what to do. and please don't say do med surg for a year or two I honestly don't believe that is necessary, I went for my BSN to get the advanced chem courses, advanced assessment and critical thinking pathways. They have encouraged us that "finding your specialty" interest and going for it is okay, it is a different world of nursing now. I'm working in ICU as it is so either I stay or jump ship and do the extreme.

So for the CNM what drove you to this profession? if you're on this board lurking and are a RN's what did you go with, head or heart? Did you regret your path? find it hard to change later on? What would you tell to a new RN (but not a young RN without life expereince here, I've spent my time doing other careers enough to have 1/2 a clue anyway and three kids to fuel the passion of the one choice!)

Thanks for you insight