Tips for maintaining positive communication?

[Theresa92]

Hello all! I want to take the time to post something that has been weighing on me lately. I know this post is long but I do truly and sincerely appreciate any advice or thoughts.

I am going to take the state CNA test in less than a month. I want to be an effective and efficient CNA, and so in my skill practice I have heavily focused on correct documentation, safety, infection control, and bedside manner. After I get my certification (hopefully I will pass the first time!), I plan on applying to long-term care, skilled nursing facilities, memory care, or hospice.

Not only do I want to be an effective and efficient CNA, I also want to be a team player and maintain positive professional relationships with other CNAs, my supervisors, nurses, and all other staff I will be working with. However, I am a bit worried because of a bad experience I had at my previous place of work.

Previous to starting the CNA class, I worked at a county substance abuse/mental health facility as a tech. I am naturally a quiet person, and so I initially gave off the impression that I was unhappy. In fact, the first week I was there, I had two coworkers tell me that I look unhappy. Even the director mentioned something about it to me. I have had this problem my whole life. Whenever I am focused and in the zone, I appear angry and unapproachable. I'm not sure if I'm scrunching my forehead or scrunching my eyebrows or what the problem is. But anyway, after I spoke to the director about it, I made a conscious effort to smile more and speak up more. After a few weeks of working there, I felt more comfortable and my professional relationships with my coworkers, nurses, etc. improved dramatically. A few of my coworkers even complimented me and told me that they enjoy working with me because I am proactive and am a team player.

A few months later, I started to sense that one of my fellow coworkers was starting to be cold towards me (She was very nice and professional at first). I tried to maintain my friendliness and professionalism with her, but I was starting to be met with silence, the cold shoulder, and short answers whenever I asked her something. She did NOT treat anyone else this way. It eventually got worse, and I resorted to confiding in a few of my other coworkers about the situation (yes, I realize this was probably a bad decision). They told me that while they don't have this problem with this specific coworker, they have indeed noticed her negative behavior towards me.

The coworker's behavior towards me

started to escalate. For example, there was a situation where the nurse asked me to perform a certain task. After I performed it, this coworker comes up to me and tells me that I was wrong for doing what the nurse asked because according to her, "that nurse doesn't know what she is doing". She then started telling me that I lack work ethic. Her behavior soon turned into borderline bullying. She would deliberately hide things from me (towels, wash cloths, etc.), she would find any reason to tell me that I am not doing my job correctly, and the cold shoulder/silent treatment continued. The last straw was when she raised her voice at me, telling me I was going too slow. She did this in front of the patients. The confusing thing about this situation is that I had received excellent reviews from my supervisor. My supervisor specifically told me that she notices my teamwork skills and she notices my ability to multitask when necessary. Also, my other coworkers told me that they enjoy it when they are scheduled on the same shift as I am, because I am a good team player and am efficient when I do my tasks.

After this coworker yelled at me in front of the patients, I decided to take action. I spoke with my supervisor about my problem. My supervisor told me that she does not tolerate bullying in the workplace and that she will arrange a meeting with me and the coworker to find out what the problem is. I also utilized my work place's Employee Assistance Program to seek counseling regarding the situation.

After 6 months of working there, I decided to quit. I feel horrible and embarrassed to admit this, but the only reason why I quit was because of the bullying. It was not only affecting me outside of work, but it also affected patient care a few times. The meeting that me and the coworker were supposed to have with the supervisor NEVER happened. My supervisor just brushed it under the rug. The whole situation was very bad. This coworker would deliberately do things to mess with me and confuse me. I would go into more detail but this post is already long enough.

So here I am, several months later, and am about to finish my CNA course. I know this probably sounds stupid, but I would really like to make a good first impression when I start work. I have already made a mental note to smile more and engage more in conversations with the staff. I have also made a mental note to be open to constructive criticism and be extremely careful not to step on anyone's toes.

In addition, this time I want to be prepared in case there is another toxic coworker who is looking to prey on the "new kid on the block". At my former job, I feel like I did EVERYTHING I could to avoid stepping on the bully coworker's toes. I tried my best to communicate with her. I had no problem with any other staff member at my former work place. I am still perplexed as to why my former coworker turned into a bully.

Now, I realize that in the nursing field, it's a given that you will always encounter some coworkers that are grumpy. And I realize that it's not uncommon to experience some bullying. I'm not expecting to be best friends with my future coworkers. My duty as a CNA is to assist the Nurse, perform skills within my "scope of practice", and ensure patient safety while openly communicating with the Nurse and my coworkers about any issues that I notice in patients. I KNOW I am not at work to make friends with my coworkers. However, I will not stand for any bullying or belittling, ESPECIALLY when it has a negative effect on patient care. The only thing that I would like is to be treated with respect, not given the silent treatment (without communication, how are we supposed to coordinate our tasks and patient care?), not have a coworker deliberately hide supplies so that I can't find it, etc.

Is there anything I can do to avoid this? If I encounter someone like my previous coworker, what is the professional way of dealing with it? Should I immediately tell any potential bully "I want you to know that I do respect you as my coworker. But I will not tolerate your bullying and belittling. If I have done something to offend you, please let me know so that we can resolve the issue". I think that if I had spoke up and stood up for myself sooner in my last job, the bullying may not have escalated like it did.

I don't want my last work experience to taint my view of the nursing/healthcare field. I plan to eventually further my education and become an RN, once I have gained enough experience. As I said before, I 100% acknowledge that the health care field is a stressful environment and sometimes coworkes will be grumpy or snap at you. I also don't expect to get along with everyone. But what I DO expect is to be treated with respect, to have open communication between coworkers (which is SO important for patient care!), and to have a professional work environment where teamwork is present. Any thoughts or ideas? Is there anything I can do to prevent being treated like I was at my past work? I have ALWAYS been respectful to all staff at all my other jobs. I always got along professionally with others in all of my other jobs I have held, so I doubt that I did anything to upset this coworker and cause her to bully me. How do I respond to a coworker (not a supervisor, but a peer) who deliberately plays mind games and is increasingly disrespectful and doesn't communicate? Thank you for reading my long post and I SINCERELY appreciate any thoughts, opinions, or advice.