This Moment

[Steph1985]

I don't know if others feel the same way I do—but lately, I've just felt tired. Not the kind of tired that a good night's sleep can fix. I'm talking about the mental and emotional exhaustion that comes from constantly clocking in and out, day after day, surrounded by people I wouldn't choose to spend time with if I had a choice. I look around and see people who have worked at the same institution for 10, 20, even 30 years. I don't judge them—for some, that brings stability, routine, and maybe even pride. But for me? I just can't imagine doing this for the rest of my life. Something deep inside me is saying this isn't it. We're born into a system that conditions us to believe this is what life is supposed to be: go to school, get a job, work until you're too old to enjoy life, and hope you've saved enough to finally rest. But when you really step back and look at it, doesn't it feel like a trap? Even the so-called "successful" professionals—doctors, lawyers, executives—many of them are just as tied to their paychecks (Educated slaves). We're  often drowning in student debt, working long hours, and sacrificing our  time, health, and families for a job that barely allows us time to breathe.

It's not just about the job—it's about the limitations. The lack of time freedom. The emotional toll. The feeling that your life is not entirely your own. You're constantly trading time for money, and in that trade, something valuable is lost: creativity, peace, purpose. I'm not saying I have all the answers. But I know one thing for sure: this system isn't working for me. I'm done pretending this is okay. I'm done idolizing long careers at jobs that drain the soul. I'm starting to see that real success, for me, means freedom—freedom to choose how I spend my time, who I work with, and what I contribute to the world. I don't have to flip my whole life overnight. I don't need to have all the answers today. But I can begin — with small, intentional steps — to move in the direction of peace, freedom, and wholeness. When my light turns off, there won't be a chance for a do-over. This life — this moment — is all I get. I won't waste it on things that drain me, people who break me, or systems that silence me. I deserve to live fully, not just survive. My peace, purpose, and joy matter now — not someday. My well-being is not a luxury. It's a foundation. I have decided to choose myself. 

If you're feeling the same way, know this: you're not alone. And you're not crazy for wanting more.