things you didn't learn in class

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

Just for fun, I thought we could post the things we never read in our textbooks...

the severity of the pain/symptoms is inversely proportional to the amount of complaining the resident does

old people are obsessed with their bowels

residents will be overly involved (ie NOSY and BOSSY) about the care their roommate receives... they will try to micromanage everything you do with the other person- this usually annoys the roommate as much as it annoys you, unless they're fortunate enough to be HOH. :uhoh21:

if someone lost their teeth/watch/hearing aid, it's probably in the strangest or most disgusting place you could imagine

if someone's gotta have explosive diarrhea, it is always 2 minutes before shift change

the older the resident, the greater the obsession with the bowels

If you go running to report every tiny little change to the nurse every 5 mins like the text book tells you to do, she gets annoyed with you. At the same time, if you wait till the end of shift to report these things, she gets annoyed with you :uhoh21: (just know what's important).

old people are obsessed with their bowels

you won't lose any weight even though you run yourself ragged, because 1/2 the residents are generous with the candy dish

you will have to unclog a toilet at least once a week

sometimes you will spend more time catering to the family than the patient

old people are obsessed with their bowels...

when you come home your boyfriend does NOT want to hear about how your day was!

If you smell poop when walking down the hallway, you'll immediately know who did it, just from the smell.

I know I've said this in another thread, but good body mechanics are usually not possible in small rooms crammed with furniture and equipment.

Did I mention old people are obsessed with their bowels?

[yousoldtheworld]

haha.

All those little steps you learn to each skill, like making a bed, dressing, etc.? Forget about them. You soon learn that you generally have approximately 2 seconds to perform each task.

Also, in class you're taught to drape each resident between every little step you do while dressing, bathing, etc. Well, most of those patients are so used to it that they don't give two figs about being draped and if able, will happily throw their own shirt completely off by the time you turn around to grab a bath blanket to drape them with.

If you're working with patients with dementia, you need to have a few good answers for "where are my parents?" and "where is my baby!" and "I want/need to go home" on hand for each patient.

To your horror, you'll find you start mentally classifying your own bowel movements by size and character.

Even the oldest residents still find fart and poop jokes funny.

With dementia patients, you'll have a lot more luck saying "it's time for a shower!" than you will asking "do you want to take a shower?"

Some patients will always refuse baths/care, and some nurses will always tell you that you have to get it done anyway. Easier said than done.

A patient who is combative or anxious during care can often be calmed if you sing while caring for them, especially a song they know. I had one resident at my first cna job that would only let me put her to bed without crying and anxiety...just because I always sang "this little light of mine" to her while putting her to bed.

If a patient is confused and upset, trying to reason with them will get you nowhere - a dementia patient is in a very different reality than we are. Distracting them by asking them about a family picture or something can be effective.

But above all, they don't tell you that the best thing you can do is find a routine that works for you and your patients. Odds are you won't do everything by the book.

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

that's sooo true about the residents not caring about their privacy!

another quirky thing I've noticed is that everyone wears their gate belt either like a belt, like a miss america sash, or like a backpack.