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Not a bad night last night, only 5 patients. Lady at the end of the hall was so touched that I bothered to rub her back and her dry dry hands with lotion that she started to cry and we said a prayer together before she went off to sleep.

Next bed was a fine specimen of a 40 year old who insists on keeping his head in the sand. He blew out 3 discs working on the "Big Dig" here in Boston about a year ago. Admitting dx of Anxiety, he apparently had a panic attack and "boom" down he went at the bus stop. He has a history of ETOH, and states he's been dry about 10 years. He also states he was using 240 of Oxycontin a day for the back pain and was worried about addiction so he got himself off them. He is waiting for back surgery and wants us to treat his anxiety with pain meds in a medical unit. He's tried "everything" and this "f**king Toradol is for muscle pain, not ortho" and the only thing he wants out of this admission is a pill to go home on so he can stop the panic attacks. Seems to think that visiting the pain management clinic will be a waste of time, but will go if they will talk about using Methadone!

After 30 minutes of my hand holding time, and gentle nudging toward the underlying anxiety/panic problem, I can't get him to see that he needs psych help. He has seen a "psychologist" who prescribed him Prozac. "That sh** just dried me out". Well yes, PNS side effects include dry mouth and it may take more than a week to even out, but he quit after two days.

End of shift, I was avoiding this guy and watching the clock myself to know when I could give him the next Ativan/Seroquel/Toradol just to keep him out of my hair.

Did my best, just needed to vent a minute, thanks for listening. :)

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