Testimony: Passed the first time with 265 questions. Don't lose hope!

[KC1029]

Hi everyone!

I promised God after I took the NCLEX that if I passed I was going to write a testimony for anyone that needs hope. So, here it is...

For starters...to study I utilized questions from BOTH Kaplan and UWorld. Both programs told me I had a high chance of passing NCLEX. I was the last grad nurse in my department to take NCLEX and everyone else passed with 75 questions. Basically, the pressure was on and everyone was waiting for me to pass. My department gave me 45 days to take the test. To spice things up, all hell was breaking loose in my personal life so focusing on studying was a total nightmare.

Anyways, I arrived at the testing site early, so I could allow myself time to mentally prepare. They escorted me over to my assigned cubical and told me to raise my hand if I needed a break and someone would come over to walk me out. Once the test started I immediately felt as if I forgot everything. I do not normally have test anxiety, but I felt paralyzed as the questions continued. I did not feel as confident as I was while taking the UWorld practice tests. I had a ton of SATA (I didn't count but I would guess 30-40% of my test). I didn't realize how much I was depending on the test to end at 75 questions until I hit question 76.

At this point I completely panicked and felt myself getting hot and dizzy. The fact that I could fail became very real to me and I continued to panic as the test went on. "Why is this not shutting off?! I want to go home! God help me!" were frequent phrases going on in my head. I'm not even kidding you, it felt like I was at a war with the computer...almost as if every time I was doing okay I'd get nailed with 3 SATA's in a row to knock me down. When it was finally over I was the last person to leave. I felt defeated and knew I bombed the test. Basically, I went in there expecting 75 questions and got the whole 265 shebang instead.

I did not try the PV trick because I was too scared and did not want to face my results. I decided to wait the full 48 hours. I started praying, "God, if you could just get me through this..." (lol, I'm sure some of you are familiar with that kind of prayer!). I was already prepared to reschedule my exam for second time, and I reheorificed how I was going to explain myself to my boss. I got up the next day, went to the gym, got my nails done, and cried (a lot). I was literally praying when I looked over at my phone and saw an e-mail that granted me my RN license number.

I just want you all to know that your situation is not hopeless. If your test goes longer than you expected, please don't give up. The key is to do the best you can all the way to the end. Don't let anxiety cause you to lose your focus. The real battle is in the mind. Have faith, take a break if you need one, and continue on. Know that few people will ever even make it this far. You are smart. If the truth be told, it's not the end of the world if you don't pass the first time. It does not make you a failure and it does not mean that you are a "bad nurse," just as passing in 75 the first time does not mean someone is a "good nurse."

Sincerely,

KC1029 RN, BSN.