Should I stay or should I go.

[Ajersey18]

I qualified as a nurse in the uk a year ago and got a job in London, for a great trust. However I gave my notice to relocate near family and had an issue with references even though I'd had no disciplinary or anything, just people who said they'd do them and didn't really. Anyway the job offer fell through and I stayed on bank at that hospital trust. I was going to remain in London until after Christmas to decide what to do and unfortunately I was the victim of a scam; so nearly ended up homeless.

I moved back out of London to family and have been commuting from quite a distance to do shifts in my old trust. However it is quite a commute and I usually work nights as I have nowhere to stay and accommodation in that area isn't cheap.

Recently I've been offered two jobs subject to passing the Checks and I even found a senior colleague to be a reference. These jobs are part time so I can still do bank around them. Sadly I am wondering if I want the stress anymore.

You see it's been a combination of events that has just gotten too much for me.

Three friends died recently included one colleague who was murdered. Then I've been battling a chronic illness which affected the sickness policy and I've been made to justify myself to several people. Even though I'm under a specialist and occupational health have supported me. Plus I've been doing long days and nights on bank with no issues. Anyway I was living in hospital accommodation prior to everything and had to move due to no longer being permanently on staff at my old trust anymore. Plus there were mice and other issues in the accommodation. Not to mention, I haven't had my deposit back yet, way over a month ago since I left.

Then there's the fraud case which wasn't refunded so I had to visit the advice bureau about it.

I just thought I knew nursing was hard but I shouldn't be in this pickle one year post grad. I went into nursing as a calling and to help others plus to make a difference. This unnecessary stress is just too much now.

I completed my degree despite the chronic illness and having to take a year out to finish it all. However it feels like I've done all this for nothing and I've never had an appraisal so can't say whether I'm good or bad at my job. I just wonder if it's worth it now. Surely hitting rock bottom isn't the answer. I just feel like there's no support and I'm left to it. Thanks in advance.