self confidence issues starting grad school?

llg, PhD, RN · Oct 12, 2005

I suggest you talk with the people at UIC. If you find that they will welcome you, then you will feel a lot better. You will have another option to consider and will then be able to take a deep breath, think it through, and make a decision. Until you know whether or not UIC is still an option, the "Yale is my last chance" feeling of desparation will pervade your thoughts.

Going to school is often tough -- and going to a school with an entirely different culture than what you are used to is even tougher. Perhaps it would help you to view it as a "foreing country" and a "foreign culture" in which you are having an adventure. It's not where you are from nor is it where you will be spending the rest of your life. Are you learning what you need to learn? If not, then there is no reason to be there.

llg

PedsRN03 · Oct 13, 2005

I'm glad I read your post about YSN. I am an RN and in my grad school search have considered applying to YSN myself. However I have felt turned off by their elitist attitude...it sounds like it's just the way I imagined it would be and it doesn't sound like I'd be too happy there! I don't care what their name is! If they don't value the experience and expertise an RN has (especially one with several years of experience like you) they are just ignorant. Personally, as a patient I'd rather have an NP with several years of experience working with patients than someone who just graduated from school and their only patient contact was a few clinicals. I would not let these other students intimidate you, because I can gaurantee you DO know more than them. If you feel UIC would be a better fit for you, I would go for it! You sound like you're really unhappy and school will be a much better experience if it is a good place for you. As for reputation, I graduated from another ivy league nursing school. While I actually did enjoy my experience there for the most part, when I went into the "real world" I felt under-prepared and like the ivy league was really over-rated. I actually felt like my fellow new grads who graduated from community colleges and small programs I never heard of were perfroming better than I was. Go with what feels best for you!

LizzyBennet · Oct 14, 2005

Having read your original post, I wanted to suggest that perhaps you try being part of some of the activities that you have thus far refused to participate in. The 'touchy-feely-ness' of them may turn you off, but I think you will see further depths in your fellow students. I turned down Yale to go to Columbia, but when I interviewed there, I met several of the students in the CNM program and I guarantee you that they are not all upper to upper middle class background. They are all finishing school with huge amounts of student loan debt just like you are... and many of them have very interesting experience working with pregnant and/or birthing women whether it be as a doula, working in international aid or teaching prenatal yoga. More and more women are going into midwifery as a primary career, not as an extension of a previous nursing career- and they make excellent midwives. Also, new midwifery students are getting younger and younger. I am in my 30's and am the oldest in my program (that I have met at this point anyhow). YET, I am finding that the younger women all have amazing backgrounds, depth and passion, despite their youth.

My feeling is that if you go to a school with a direct entry program, most of the programs will be geared towards those students. If you only want to be in school with people with previous RN experience then you should look into programs with no direct entry component. I hope this does not come off too harsh, it is not meant to be that way. But I think that if you make yourself part of your school's midwifery community (and that may mean exiting your comfort zone from time to time) your confidence and success will increase dramatically-- you may find the students eager to learn from your experience, and you may even find that you can learn things from them.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

LB