Seeking advice

[Nursing2026]

I don't know where to begin. I am a new nurse and had my license for not even 3 months before my world came crashing down. I was hired at a hospital working step down ICU. I had a very poor preceptor. She would catch an attitude when I asked questions, gave me assignments that I told her I wasn't comfortable taking quite yet (I told her I could handle 3 patients, she forced me to take all 4). I was struggling with time management which is apparently common with new nurses, so they were going to extend my training for another month. 
 

My 3 shifts were scheduled in a row and I was on my "Friday" of the week. I had woken up that morning with a miserable migraine due to a nasty sinus infection that I was fighting. I knew it was going to be a long day from the moment I got report from the night nurse. At around 4pm I got a call from the nurse manager asking if we could talk, apparently my preceptor reported that I "looked drowsy" and their protocol was for an on site UA to be done. I accidentally flushed and it made the first sample invalid. The second sample didn't have enough urine. Ultimately I ended up leaving without a sample being provided. 
 

A meeting was scheduled for Monday which is when I learned that apparently there was 2 unaccounted pain meds from 2 weeks before. I was absolutely floored. (I would never divert medication, a pop up for the acetaminophen mg toxicity caused the second scan to not record). I was also terminated. No charges were filed but a report was made to the BON. Fast forward, I was told to contact SC RPP, they wanted me to get an evaluation, and the evaluator has recommended that I'm not safe to work and for me to do be admitted for residential hospitalization! 
 

I have been on pain medication for 9 years (I have one for extended release and one for breakthrough pain). I also have two letters from my physician stating that I'm safe to work and haven't had drug diversion issues. One letter is from last year and the other is from a few years before. I have never had a substance use disorder and my medications don't impair me, also I try to limit taking them while at work. He also used things against me like the fact that my new job wasn't aware of this situation, but my lawyer had told me not to inform them about it. I've since had to disclose it to my supervisor which she was very understanding, I've been out of work on administrative leave. I was doing really good at my new job, working in the peri-operative field. Every nurse that worked along side of me had only great things to say about me. 
 

I can't afford to do a second evaluation and my insurance won't cover hospitalization at the facilities they have listed. I am becoming overwhelmed with grief and depression with this whole situation. I worked so hard to become a nurse and within 3 months I made a  mistake that has left me with a suspended nursing license and so much doubt/shame. My lawyer also doesn't seem to be fully invested in defending me & I discovered she never responded to the evaluator when he tried to contact her for information. She asked for IOP instead of hospitalization, but they won't budge. 
 

How do you deal with this? What can I do? Would you push for the second evaluation? Would you enroll in the IOP at a facility they listed anyway ? I've been looking at different discussions on here trying to gather information  and it is such a relief to know that I'm not alone because I have felt so lost through this process. 😭

 

[Nursing2026]

I'd also like to add that I asked my doctor today for a referral to a spinal surgeon so I can discuss what surgery options I have, because I don't want to continue taking pain medications for the rest of my life either. 
 

I have been in the healthcare field for 8 years and loved being a nurse, but I don't know what to do with my life now. I have been applying for jobs that aren't in healthcare bc I am so ashamed of myself. I have only disclosed this situation to my closest friends & family, because I am a single mother and would need their assistance taking care of my kids if I was out of state for treatment. 
 

My current plan is to get a job and save towards another evaluation & make myself "lower risk" by then so I hopefully get a better diagnosis than the last one. But my lawyer said RPP will take both evaluations into consideration and determine what to do from there. I have felt that they want to crucify me for something that I didn't do. I will add that I had NO illegal drugs in my system and provided prescription for everything that I came back positive for. Peth was negative and I don't drink. 

[NurseJackie69]

You asked for an opinion on what to do. I can tell you what I would do based on info you provided.

1. I would go to PHP, enter your states monitoring program, and skip the 2nd eval.

2. I would also drop the attorney (again, Me personally, you do you). 

3. You have one eval that says you WILL go into a 5 year monitoring program as it recommends hospitalization. If you got another eval that said no monitoring needed, then they look at both, but in the end, the odds are Overwhelming that you will be in a 5 year monitoring program if you want to stay a nurse and a lawyer isn't getting you out of that In My Opinion based on the evidence you gave.

4. In my opinion....notice the keyword I continue to use in this post (Opinion), you have a problem with substances. Based on that and the evidence you provided, I would submit. Stop fighting. Stop playing the legal game. Submit. Submit to yourself that you have a problem, are caught, go to rehab, enter the monitoring program, do your 5 years and recovery and your life dramatically gets better and you end up with a long nursing career, and sober.

You asked for opinions. I gave you mine from a recovery perspective. Your situation gets immediately better by turning it over. Submit. Stop fighting it. Fix yourself and your future is actually bright. You have hope, but it only starts when you submit.