Rough seas ahead

[LovingLearning]

Yesterday, my Dad received the diagnoses of multiple myeloma stage 3 (lambda light chain deposition disease), and related illnesses of chronic kidney failure (stage 3), normochromic anemia, and severe, diffuse osteoporosis. He has started Zometa, IV, qmonth. His Dr. is registering him for chemo, and that will start in the next month (most likely...maybe 6 weeks). From what I understand, his chemo will be oral, so hopefully he can take it at home. My Dad is 86. The mortality rates for this are pretty high - even with response to tx. He has not asked, nor has anyone told him, that +/- 45% of patients with this illness die within 6 months of dx, the balance mostly dying within 2 years.

Next Monday, semester 2 starts. The truth of it is that at my school, semester 2 is the most difficult semester of all 4...

I won't stop school; that would be so hard on Dad. But being in school, and being his only family here, and being his caretaker (in many ways; in others, he's very independent), means that the hardest semester will be more difficult. Dad will not want me to withdraw, so I won't.

So the question is, how much of this do I tell my professors? And how in the world will I be able to balance everything, and somehow make sure I survive this?

Suggestions, experiences, thoughts, ideas...whatever...is very much appreciated.

Best-

Lovin' Learning

[sh1901]

How "open" are your instructors? That may help you to determine what to tell and what to keep to yourself. I think that at the very least, you need to tell them that your father is sick. How much you tell them beyond that is probably up to your own judgment.

My first semester back to school, about 4 weeks into the semester, my boyfriend's father died, he had been ill for some time. I had wonderful professor's at the time (I was taking prereq's) and kept them in the loop and they were great about everything. Fast forward one year later (almost exactly 1 year later) and my father passes away very suddenly. One of my professors was fantasitc about it. Another was a real jerk and I ended up working with the Dean to do a late drop from the class.

So, like I said, I think that you really need to guage it on what you know about the instructors that you are dealing with.

My heart goes out to you and I will keep you and your father in my prayers.:redbeathe

[Someday_A_Nurse]

My heart goes out to you. My dad has been very ill since 8/27/08, even living with us for a few of those months. Your dad is lucky to have you. Just remember to have conversations with him that have nothing to do with his illness. My dad got so sick of talking about colostomies that he was thrilled if I just sat and chatted with him about the Packers once in a while. You and your family are in my prayers.

[coolpeach]

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My aunt was diagnosed with multiple myleoma many years ago. She went through chemo, and faught hard she was also stage 3. Surprise, it went into remission and she was fine for about 5 years, and then it came back. She faught again for about 6 months, but it won. She was only in her late 60's so she was a bit younger than your dad, but remission doesn happen so don't lose hope.

I would tell your instructors, and while they may not allow you a lot more slack they will at least have some compassion for your situation, and you might be surprised at their support. Go in there and do the best you can. It will be hard, but you can do it.

[LovingLearning]

Thank you, everyone. I am hoping that he goes into remission, but I also must admit that I am not hopeful. Actually, to be honest, I'm terrified witless. Hopefully, Dad will start chemo soon; it's oral and so I can administer it (or he can take it himself) at his house, and will be comfortable there. The chemo they're considering is 1/4 of the usual dose, to see if he can handle it. And the booster chemo is thalidomide...hopefully, the cocktail will allow him some time.

I have to be at school tomorrow for registration, so I will meet my new semester coordinator, and discuss this with him. I will also make sure my (still unidentified) clinical instructor knows, too. And those who are close to me in school already know...and they are willing to do whatever they need to do to help me out. I am blessed indeed.

I've already talked to financial aid, and the lady in charge is looking to see what can be done to help me out financially; Dad had helped with my rent, but he will have significant medical expenses so I'm trying to prepare for that.

And thank you for your prayers...this is going to be a really hard time, but with God's help, I'll manage to make it through...and so will Dad.

Best-

Lovin' Learning

[RutterMama]

I have no idea what you are going through... I couldn't imagine. I did loose both of my parents as a teenager, but I couldn't imagine watching one of them suffer. I will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers. Hopefully your supervisor will be more lenient and instructors will be understanding.