Processing the Death of a Patient

[LaTonya Cawley]

Nursing school gave me a brief lecture on what the death process entailed. How the nursing process should be thought of and carried out. They indicated (nonverbally) that nurses should remain "stoic" and "family oriented" once the patient had expired. In situations such as this, I did exactly as I was instructed to do. I provided care for my patients, their families, and kept my human emotions to myself. Keeping them as far away from the current situation as I could. As the time for family visitation was approaching, I felt like there was still something that I could do beyond make the patient "comfortable.” In the span of an hour, the pressure began a slow and  steady decline from the lower end of acceptable. The situation was discussed with the doctor and family. As I stood at the bedside looking over the vent settings and IV solutions, the patient went into asystole! I called out for "Help", and the other nurses came to assist. Because of the patient's code status, there was nothing that we were permitted to do. Though I had reheorificed my available interventions, this scenario only had one intervention. I had to let the patient go. Emotionally, I was not ready for that scenario. I remember being in the room with the other nurses as if we were about to run the code. I gave the SBAR in 2 sentences. CPR had not been started because chest compressions were not permitted under the specified instructions. I wanted a pulse to be there and the rhythm to be shockable, but that was not the case. I walked over to the crash cart that was already in the room from his overnight event. I could not even push the button. Everyone agreed after talking through the plan that we all had to let the patient go and accept that the family and patient had made their decision for us of what we were able to do. I walked to the opposite side of the room. The Respiratory Tech asked me if I was alright. The internal answer was, "NO!”, but my stoic nurse persona opened her mouth to try to say, "Yes.” However, a loud wale came out instead. That was the first time that I was not in the mindset of providing comfort to the patient or family immediately when the end of someone's life had been reached. That question, "Was I alright?” had penetrated my defenses. My actions and response on that day told everyone that I was not okay. Please let me know that I am not the only one to experience this. What has been your experience with the death of a Patient?

[uniteddemclub, BSN, RN]

Finding a patient dead is like when a kid finds their dead goldfish.

[Gwen Johnson]

Even if the patient was expected to die from natural causes, it is still difficult to witness their demise, especially if a nurse was close to the patient. I feel that fellow nurse colleagues should recognize workplace grief and show compassion to their co-workers during this time. Their support would mean a lot. 

[LaTonya Cawley]

Absolutely! Nurses should be OK with "nursing" each other and not being viewed as anything other than Human. Our humanity is what compels us to go above and beyond in our patient care. Some days, the paycheck simply doesn't cover all the physical and mental stress of the job.