I need advice, I need to vent. So just throw your thoughts out there.
I'm on the fast lane to Burnout-ville. First off, I have 3 kids- a 9 year old who is autistic and two preschoolers. Which is a job in and of itself. On top of that, I am taking 3 college classes (A&P, Speech and Dev. Psych). To make matters worse, I decided to go to work as a CNA. All I had left in my schedule was nights and weekends. Since my husband is self-employed, I figured I should do 3 shifts a week so we can get health insurance through my company.
Anyway, I had to take a float position to qualify for bene's with only 3 shifts per week. This is my first CNA job. I work 4 out of their 5 units in a 2 week period- everything from alzheimers/dementia to assisted living to medicaid (illness/rehab). Every floor is very different. When I did orientation, I learned my orientator's groups. Then when I was off orientation, I walked on each unit over the next two week period and had to learn all new patients. It is starting to calm down, but I felt/feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Everyone wants me to move fast and get my job done in the same time frame as the regulars do. I get snapped at for forgetting small crap, when I am struggling to remember everyone's conditions, and limitations and restorative programs...etc. Some of these people I only see once in a two week period. I usually have anywhere from 9-22 patients to myself, depending on the floor and the shift. Mornings on the overnight shift are hell. They expect us to get up 6-7 residents in a 2 hour period. That is roughly 20 minutes per person (if and only if, I don't get any call lights in that time period or have some who has a bm accident). Which means no real quality of care, just rush, rush, rush.
On top of that, my grades are slipping. I am tired all the time. I don't see my husband anymore, because all I do is sleep and work over the weekends. I have gone over 30 hours before without sleep, because I did an overnight, and then the next day I have had obligations with my children I couldn't put aside so I could sleep and then school that evening. We are ending up ordering private health insurance, because it is cheaper than my company's plan as it turns out (that is pretty bad).
I just want to throw in the towel. I don't really feel like I am doing "nursing". I bombed an A&P test last thursday, I didn't have as much time as I needed to study, and then I needed the last 4 hours to review, and my son ended up in the ER instead during that time. I didn't get to review. Normally, I would have had review done a day or two before. I was never cramming at the last minute until I started this job. I am so afraid that this test is going to turn out really bad- like a D and blow my whole class grade, my gpa and my chance of getting into the nursing program. I can't afford another B on my transcript at this point. Then part of me is so burned out on my life I don't care if I get in or not. My dream is dying because I am exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed out.
I have busted my butt at my job though, and I don't just want to give up everything I have worked to learn over the past month. I don't want to be a quitter or a wimp. It also won't look good to have my first job after 8 years of stay at home mom to be a one month stint. What to do?
