Pre-Nursing Essay Help!!

[KeeBeez]

Can Anyone Look over this and let me know if its overtly corny, or if I need to add or explain anything more. I've been applying for two years and I don' t know what I'm doing wrong. Thank you!

Here is the prompt (super long!)

Please discuss all of the following items in your essay response with no more than 2 pages, 12 font, single spaced:

Discuss your personal and professional goals as they relate to your desire to enter the nursing profession. How can the OHSU School of Nursing help you achieve those goals?

What qualities do you have that would benefit nursing and the patient/clients in your nursing practice? Describe a situation(s) in which you have experience with diverse, underserved, and/or vulnerable populations. What did you learn that will influence your health care practice as a nurse? (This can include those who are marginalized in a given situation by gender, age, ethnicity, race, religion, economic status, geographic location, education, health status, disease, or disability).

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I grew up in a rural farming town on the border between Idaho and Oregon. During that time I had never envisioned that one day I would find myself braiding a ninety-four year old woman's hair into cornrows, figuring out ways to make puréed cornbread palatable, and dancing to the soulful voice of an amputee Motown singer. I had these experiences during my first job as a CNA in a nursing facility located in a lower socioeconomic neighborhood of North Portland. The demographic was mostly African American, and the cultures and ethnic values were as foreign to me--a former graphic artist --as the CNA work itself. However, I knew from the beginning that finding my bearings in an unfamiliar culture would not be nearly so challenging as earning the residents' trust and helping them feel as comfortable as possible. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that adapting to my new surroundings and responsibilities came quite naturally. By treating the residents with compassion and respect, they learned to trust me and they eventually began to relate to me on a personal level. It was the first time in my life that I'd become immersed in a situation in which I was a racial minority, yet I had never felt so valued and welcome. I enjoy relating to people in new and meaningful ways and I am eager to learn from those I have yet to meet and use my experiences to become a better person and healthcare worker.

To me, nursing is more than a job--it is more than passing pills and performing treatments--nursing is about caring for others' mind, body and soul. I believe that healing starts from within and when healthcare is fostered in an environment of compassion and empathy, ones ability to thrive can truly flourish. In order to become a successful nurse, one has to have a genuine understanding and interest in others. With that as the foundation of care, a nurse will be capable of being compassionate, patient, and fully available to serve other's needs. I believe that OHSU shares this understand with its core values of integrity, respect, social justice, diversity, collaboration and the science, art, and heart of healthcare. OHSU would also provide me with a respected education, a campus that encourages new and innovative technology as well as opportunity to be involved in rural community and global partnerships.

I was fairly young when I learned about the value in helping others and every subsequent step I've taken in my life and career has fueled my passion and love for nursing. Each new experience strengthens the confidence I feel in having decided to make a career of it.

The event that sparked my interest in nursing was during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. My dad had volunteered with the Red Cross and became a shelter administrator in Shreveport, Louisiana. I had the opportunity to volunteer there and found that even little things--such as discretely handing out feminine products to women--could make the difference in someone's entire day. Helping people who had lost so much find comfort in the midst of such a tragedy changed how I saw the world forever.

My next realization came during my volunteer work with a grassroots charity that facilitated medical interventions and community-building projects in Honduras. I discovered the power and dynamic force that nurses have on the world and the lives of others. The international nurses I met there were some of the most incredible women I have ever met, and it was their strength and vitality that inspired me seek out a career as a nurse. Working in Honduras made me realize that nurses have the ability to be a considerable force in the healthcare world. I was excited to discover that nurses were not only caregivers but also patient activists.

While working towards my bachelor's degree at Portland State University, I completed my CNA certificate and worked full time in a nursing home while continuing to volunteer with the charity in Honduras. I also sought a medical internship as a diabetic aid in the assisted living facility where I learned to give subcutaneous injections and administer medications. After my internship and graduation I continued to work as a CNA in a variety of settings: a personal caregiver for a quadriplegic, a surgery assistant, x-ray technician, as well as my current job working in a Hospital Traumatic Brain Injury/Spinal Rehabilitation Unit. Working full time and going to school full time was demanding to say the least, however, I've sincerely valued and enjoyed every step along the way. I am eager and anxious to continue advancing towards my goal and future career.

From my experiences I have learned that I have the patience, creativity and compassion to be a nurse. I want nothing more than to further my career and use my education to continue to work and volunteer to help the underserved population throughout my own community and globally. With the skill set and the education a nursing degree at OHSU can provide me, I feel like I will utilize my full potential to work in a career where I feel fulfilled and can make a difference for others.