Personal statement feedback

[sashaj017]

I'm applying to an accelerated nursing program ABSN. What do you guys think of my personal statement? Please be honest.

Maya Angelou once said, As a nurse, we have the opportunity to heal the heart, mind, soul and body of our patients, their families and ourselves. They may not remember your name but they will never forget the way you made them feel.” This is one of the many reasons I've decided to become a nurse. A few years ago in October of 2011, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were in a small physician's office in Brooklyn, New York when the oncologist explained that she would have to undergo a mastectomy and chemotherapy. The physician, who was great at his job, gave us the news and then discussed with us what to expect in the coming months. Throughout my mother's treatments, however, there were a number of nurses that really catered to my mother's needs and pain. The nurses were there to comfort her and they were often the first line of communication before we got in contact with a physician. During this phase of my life, I realized how important nurses are in today's society.

After college, I landed my first post- baccalaureate job at New York Presbyterian Hospital in the radiation oncology department. I was excited to help patients suffering from cancer and other life threatening diseases, however, as I continued my career as an administrative assistant I realized that I had very little physical contact with patients. I enjoyed helping the patients within the clinic however I wanted to be more hands on and proactive. I was dissatisfied with my current career choice in healthcare management so I decided to move in the direction of nursing. I began working closely with the nursing staff and started shadowing the nurse manager when I had free time. In the summer of 2016, I took classes after work to receive an emergency medical technician license. Working as an EMT has taught me a lot about basic life saving skills and the job introduced me to some of the medications that are given to patients. At both New York Presbyterian hospital and in the field as an EMT, I interact with nurses everyday. Observing how nurses work and treat patients influenced me to further my education and apply to graduate school.

Ultimately, I've decided to embark on this journey to become a nurse in order to help patients in need of care and compassion. I can be the extra hand on an inpatient floor in a hospital that is short staffed or in a busy doctor's office. I can also be the extra person that is there to comfort a family that has just been given devastating news or the nurse practitioner that works on research and clinical trials. There is an enormous amount of variety and flexibility within the nursing field. There are many areas to apply individual compassionate care to patients that are scared and anxious about the health issues they may be facing. It requires someone that has the patience and confidence to make the patient feel comfortable and trust that their concerns are being listened to addressed accordingly. As someone that has dealt with sick family members and worked closely with patients within my past employment, I believe that the becoming a nurse is the best career choice for me.