PCA/hha communication issues w/client & s/o they react negatively to suggest & concerns

[Beki B]

       Hello.  I work as a PCA/hha w/a home health client who’s bed bound. She makes angry outbursts & shouts daily. Part of it is because her husband has hearing issues. His hearing aid keeps falling out. I informed them that he needs to reposition every so often to prevent bedsores. I told the NP when the wife was there that the redness on his bottom is a concern. Obviously, I use barrier cream. The s/o complains every day about something like saying I’m wasteful because I change gloves. I change gloves when there is a lot of BM.bwhen the client is confused about an instruction, she tells me to “shsh”

 I really have tried to pull back & let them exercise volition. The problem is the s/o misconstrues what I say. During the pericare his member under the foreskin had red patches & he made a face. I asked him if he was OK. He said it hurt when I cleaned him. She shouted “she’s asking if she’s hurting you! She’s asking if she’s being to rough!” That is not what I said. And know she’s overbearing & argumentative. I showed the s/o “See there are red spots on the glands. This might be the reason why it hurts.” She kept saying that I needed to be gentle & I affirmed I would. If I don’t have what I need to do my job effectively & if the client & significant others are non cooperative then how can I do my job effectively? 

I have had situations like this where they claim to know my job & then want to argue & say I’m difficult. Like once a different client I had, they wanted to move a bed bound client w/no drawsheet. The friend told her church friends that we were a horrible company. I had to tell the friend that we needed to use the drawsheet because I did not want to injure the client or the friend. I don’t understand when I’m hired to do a job I have to bend over backwards and do things that are unsafe because the clients or significant others wanted me to do it. 
 
I sent emails to home health nurses. One nurse told me once I had to figure it out myself. When I talk to the nurses the s/o yells & later becomes vindictive & conniving by finding fault with the care I provide.
 

I know this is long. I’ve been in some very difficult situations. I know they have a right to refuse. But non cooperating, lack of support & micromanaging is affecting the quality of my work. It seems the other Hhas don’t care & just coming to do minimal work & go home.
So I want to know what I should do next?