I just signed on to a 5 - year monitoring program with the OSBN. Ironically, today is my one year birthday in recovery from alcoholism. I find myself with many mixed emotions. First is anger, then fear , resentment, all those ingredients that can add to a relapse, which obviously is the worst thing I could do now. I checked myself into CD rehab on sept. 4th 2008, for two weeks, then after that got heavily involved in AA , working the steps. I called the BON to let them know I entered rehab on advice from a case worker. Then, eight months later, I got called in for investigation of this matter. Long story short, I "volunteered" for the NMP. I've accepted that it is my alcoholism that got me in this place, I guess I'm just fighting lots of anger right now at having to check in every day for five years to see if i need to pee in a cup. I feel like I'm on "house arrest". I know, I'm lucky I have my license, and this is a public safety issue. It's just that I feel in a way I'm getting punished for trying to do the right thing in the first place. I had an excellent work record, was one of I'm sure many nurses who got really good at keeping their problem a secret (i.e. only drinking on "off" hours, never drinking on a shift or in the morning, etc) i did everything i thought was the right thing to do. I am angry, afraid, most of all feel alone. Just looking for support from other nurses in this program. Thanks for reading my long story! Peggy
Sep 28, '09
I too was in the NMP in oregon. I did EVERYTHING they told me to do. I actually became good friends with my monitor-person. I would not change anything about that 5 years. I too was angry for the first 2 years, then I became really interested in addiction and tried to learn everything I could. Remember they could have taken your license, your livelihood, and dignity away. Someday you may be able to help another sister nurse. I have many times....
Feb 18, '12
I would love to chat with you! After reading your story, I could swear you had written my story; the two are so similar it is scary! My sobriety date is 11/23/09 and was a self-referral to treatment for alcoholism~like you, I failed to read the 'fine print' and 'volunteered' to sign up for the NMP.
I see your post is dated Sept '09, so am very curious how you are doing in the program and if it is still working for you?
Apr 10, '12
I'm in the monitoring program also. Close to the end, but may have to be extended. Wanted to say hi and offer support. How are all doing now?