Opinions Needed on my school app essay!!!!!!

[court534]

Hi Guys!! Below is a rough draft for my nursing school essay and I'd really, really, REALLY appreciate any feedback or comments you may have!

Discuss why you want to be a nurse and how this degree will help you move toward your career goals. (1,500 words)

I remember exactly where I was when I got the news. Double bypass surgery she said. 25% chance he wasn't going to make it she said. Tomorrow she said.

Marooned in Atlanta, I desperately stayed awake until 5am when my parents would be heading to the hospital. I had to be able to talk to my dad, the man who was indestructible in my mind, at the very last possible minute until he had to go to surgery. Don't worry peanut, I'll promise I'll be just fine,” he reassured me in the loving, calm tone that parents somehow always seem to be able to invoke, no matter the situation. Devastated and feeling millions of miles away, I anxiously awaited any news while cursing myself for moving so far away from my family in Virginia. I couldn't be there with him and the weight of that was absolutely crushing. After an eternity, he's going to be ok, she said. I could resume breathing.

The surgery had shaken me to my core because no one in our family had previously had any kind of serious medical problems. You must have been born in a pod” was a frequent joke made by my doctor. Our medical history had always been a fairly clean slate so this was new territory for us and difficult to navigate. After spending a week in ICU and then a few days out of it, my dad returned home. It took several months of rehabilitation and his begrudging adaptation to a new diet before he was his old self again, minus the Ben & Jerry's. He returned with full force and I have never in my life felt so grateful to just see him sitting at the counter doing the jumble, biking to the gym in his old sneakers and a t-shirt emblazoned with my colleges name, or hear people roar with laughter at the jokes told by the permanent life of the party.

Then it happened. I was just calling my dad to say hi on a nondescript and mundane weekday that you normally write off as uneventful. What are you doing?” I asked him. Writing a letter,” he said. Writing a letter was a little unusual of him so I knew the personal act must have been holding some kind of importance to him. When I inquired more about it, his answer would change everything for me. He explained that he was writing a letter to the head of the INOVA Alexandria Hospital. He wanted to tell to them how grateful has was for the nurses that took care of him that week. He had loved and appreciated them and spoke about them like they were his old friends. He told me how they'd made him laugh and felt comfortable when he found himself in what he thought could have been some very humiliating situations for a proud man. My father felt that it wasn't enough that he was only able to thank them but he wanted other people to be made aware of the kindness and respect that they had shown him. He spoke with a degree of gratitude that I'd never heard in his voice. I was stunned. I was immediately flooded with affection for the nurses I had never met before. Those nurses had been able to offer him the comfort and love that I had been devastated about not being able to provide for him from Atlanta. I knew that this was it. I had found what I wanted to dedicate my life too. I wanted to take care of people with the same amount of kindness and care that had been shown to my dad. I marveled at a nurse's duty to medically care for their patients while at the same time gauging their emotions and providing kindness and support. I imagined their position required tremendous empathy, tolerance, understanding, and a clear level head. I realized that nursing was more complex and demanding then most people may assume. And, that it took a strong, moral and dedicated individual to be able to care for others and it would be my honor to do so.

I began researching nursing and picked apart the brain of every nurse I encountered. The more I learned about nursing the more I admired the profession. A year and a half ago I began working toward applying for this nursing program by enrolling in Georgia Perimeter College in order to begin taking the pre requisites that will lead me down my new found path. I feel exhilarated and remarkably reassured, like finding an elusive puzzle piece that, when put in place, reveals the big picture. With each class I find myself more and more excited and dedicated. I know reaching my goal of becoming a nurse will be a long, challenging process that will test my patience, fortitude and resourcefulness. But, I am excited by the program and encouraged by all the things I've learned from talking to former students in the accelerated program. I have been methodical about accomplishing all the requirements necessary for applying for admission. I have continued to work full time while taking my pre requisite classes and maintained a 4.0 GPA. I have done this without any financial aid or assistance (I certainly understand the value of a dollar now!). I have been efficient with my time, which has allowed me to work, study, volunteer, and enjoy a social life. It has not always been easy but what I have accomplished thus far has reinforced my belief that I am headed down the right path. A B.S. in nursing is my next step. I have reviewed many nursing programs and I have determined that *** has the most promising and exciting program suited for me. I am particularly impressed with the well-planned course schedule, the *** Medical Center, the class-size and hands-on teaching method. I hold *** Nursing in the highest regard. I know I will be challenged and I will thrive. I am eager to learn. I will dedicate myself to my coursework. I will give every single thing I do my full attention and effort. I will be respectful of my teachers and classmates and offer assistance whenever I can. I thank you for your time and consideration and I assure you that I am completely dedicated to my decision to continue my education. I am certain of what I want to do with my life and what I need to do to achieve those goals. If I am given the opportunity to be a part of the accelerated B.S. program, I will succeed in the program and I will be a shining representation of ***'s School of Nursing.