One nurse where I work . . .

elizabells, BSN, RN · Jun 19, 2008

We have a few like this where I work. Giving report to one particular nurse used to literally give me the shakes. What I did was assume that on any given night I'd be giving her report, and get so over prepared it was ridiculous. I finally won one night when I had written an entire page of notes for report, ran through it without letting her interrupt, and then asked oh-so-sweetly "Can you think of anything I forgot?" First time I ever saw that woman speechless. It was beautiful.

As that can adapt to your situation, hmm. I guess maybe just be prepared for it when you ask her questions. Then when she's rank to you, stop. Look at her like "really?" If you can raise a single eyebrow, that works nicely. Try not to get flustered by her, which I know is hard. It took me a year and a half to pull off the above story. If you can maintain a calm, slightly disbelieving attitude when she gets obnoxious, that's good. I always enjoy staying totally reasonable when someone else is being ridiculous at me.

Or just, you know, stop asking her questions. Ask someone who's not a jerk about it, if you can.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jun 20, 2008

My one night of filling in as an ad hoc mentor was pretty easy. I started out with an unbelieveably easy assignement, then picked up an orientee at eleven. So I gave her the more stable of my two pretty-darned-stable patients, watched her assessment, read her note, and found out she'd been an LPN for eighteen years. So I can't say I have a lot of experience training new nurses.

But, before I got into healthcare, I was a carpenter. In carpentry, an apprentice is someone learning the trade under direct supervision. A journeyman is someone who is able to do pretty much all of the tasks of the trade and work independently much of the time. A master is one who can not only do all of the tasks, but can supervise and instruct, as well. The transition from apprentice to jouneyman is a bit like the transition from student/orientee to staff nurse. It's challenging, although probably not as stressful as the first year of nursing. The transition from journeyman to master, though, is kind of a bear. You've got all of your own work to do, plus you've got other people who need to be watched and told what to do, and some are just about ready to be journeymen, themselves, while others are complete novices and potentially dangerous to themselves and others.

NOBODY becomes a master carpenter after one year. There's so much to learn, the work itself can be a bit dangerous, and if the structures you build aren't done properly, the lives of your clients can be put in jeopardy. "See it, do it, teach it," is usually at least a decade-long process. Really, a couple of decades is more like it. But, you know, carpentry is difficult, demanding, and important work...

It sounds to me like the nurse you describe might be having a little room for improvement in dealing with less-experienced co-workers. She may be finding it a little stressful transitioning from apprentice to journeyman and journeyman to master at the same time. Don't know why--it's not like nursing is particularly complicated or demanding.

Still, as far as you're able, I'd advise patience and forbearance. Because you may find yourself feeling a bit testy at times, next year when you're in her shoes.

I'm not suggesting that you need to be a doormat, or that you're wrong to feel put out. I'm only offering that the two of you may have more in common than either of you fully realizes. So, if you're able to overlook her shortcomings and learn what you can from her, you might yet find yourselves becoming allies, down the road.

Or, you know, she may just be an arrogant snot, and it won't be too long before you don't usually need her help.

SoundofMusic · Jun 20, 2008

As usual, NurseMike, you've delivered wonderful words of advice. Lots to think about, especially pertaining to her and maybe other nurses as well. They DO need to watch us, and I'm sure it's probably stressful for them at times.

Interesting analogy!

It just seems her tone is almost laughable at times, as we're not on an ICU or anything, and the patients are stable. I don't see the reason to add additional stress to any situation, but maybe like you said, she's just in a stressful phase herself.

She seemed so friendly and interested in mentoring me at first . . . and she often follows WITH very good words of advice, relates her own experiences, what she learned the hard way, etc.

Maybe sometime I'll gently call her on it and see.