Offered a job, but not? Advice please!!

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Hi everyone. I am a new grad nurse and have been on the job hunt for a while. I interviewed at San Joaquin general hospital with the director of nursing and the interview overall went really well. She loved how much I volunteer and my background and told me "I want to offer you the position. I love your volunteer experiences and how professional you are." I was so happy. Score! BUT then she drops the bomb. I currently live in the Bay Area. And San Joaquin is located in French camp in Stockton. She told me she was concerned that I live in the Bay Area and that the commute would be hard (about 1 1/2 to 2 hours where I live). But I assured her that if I got the position I would move to stockon. But she was still concerned and said that usually when she hired new grads from out of area with no family in the area, they end up leaving. So she said would I be able to commit? And I would have to stay with the hospital for at least 3 years. I told her that it still doesn't matter. I am actually looking for a change and would not mind moving. But it's like she wouldn't believe me and said that she would have to talk to the nurse manager specifically for the unit I wanted and get back to me. I walked out of there feeling really sad and unsure. Did I just lose my chance?? It's been a few days now and she said she would call me a few hours after my interview was over but she never did. What should I do? Please help!

Ive also had phone calls from nurse recruiters who also had the same concerns about how I live far from the hospital (I've applied to everywhere in Cali and have gotten calls from hospitals in SoCal and around Central Valley).

how do I get these managers/recruiters to understand my commitment??

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Don't discuss your family. Tell them you are ready to relocate and need to be working. If they ask about your family, smile, shake your head, and tell them it's no matter.

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Don't discuss your family. Tell them you are ready to relocate and need to be working. If they ask about your family, smile, shake your head, and tell them it's no matter.

I actually didn't mention my family at all. I told her that if she gives me the position, I will move to stockon. Which is true. I have no commitments and home isn't really that far away. It's still a doable drive. She even said "is your family ok with this?" And I said "yes. My family knows where this is where I want to be and they are supportive of my move." But now I'm in this dilemma and just waiting.... :cry:

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"My family is supportive," means, "My decisions are potentially contingent on their feelings. I sure hope Pop-Pop's cough doesn't evolve into lung cancer, because that's going to be hard for you."

A better answer to her sneaky question/litmus test, "That isn't a significant part of the decision-making process." It may ultimately not matter, but why not give yourself every advantage? Only HR and one friend know I am married with a family. Let them project whatever backstory they want. Talk less. Smile more.

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I'm not a lawyer, but based on my experience in HR, it's usually illegal for an interviewer to ask questions about a candidate's family, marital status, children (current or planned), etc. If you believe you have been denied a position because of caregiver relationships, you could consider filing a claim with the EEOC or at least talking to someone there about your situation (they're very nice at EEOC). Although, family status is not a specific protected class, it is often considered part of sex discrimination.

To me, it sounds like the interviewer might have crossed the line, using family status (i.e. you don't have family here, is your family OK with this) as a factor in making a hiring offer. Having family in the area is not a bona fide occupational qualification (remember this phrase, and if you get asked questions like that again, ask whether having family in the area is a BFOQ).

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I'm not a lawyer, but based on my experience in HR, it's usually illegal for an interviewer to ask questions about a candidate's family, marital status, children (current or planned), etc. If you believe you have been denied a position because of caregiver relationships, you could consider filing a claim with the EEOC or at least talking to someone there about your situation (they're very nice at EEOC). Although, family status is not a specific protected class, it is often considered part of sex discrimination.

To me, it sounds like the interviewer might have crossed the line, using family status (i.e. you don't have family here, is your family OK with this) as a factor in making a hiring offer. Having family in the area is not a bona fide occupational qualification (remember this phrase, and if you get asked questions like that again, ask whether having family in the area is a BFOQ).

Wow didnt think of it like this. And it's not like what they know is brand new news. I have my address on their application and she even had that printed out right in front of her. HR and everyone should have known a long time ago when making interview decisions that I was out of the area. So if that was going to be a criteria, my application should've been thrown out before then. I don't know why they would have to make me drive out to push me away because of something like that.

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