I am reminded of a young couple whom I know...................They were typical SNAG type people. They had been attending all of the ante natal classes to make for a better birth. He was to be the main support person, rubbing her back, making soothing noises, encouraging the correct breathing etc.
Unfortunately she went into a quick labour and spat out the child whilst he was still on his way to the hospital from work. When he got there he was totally distraught! He couldn't stop crying as the close emotional birth himself and his woman had been visualising and training for was blown away!
He was standing there, holding the baby, crying to himself saying "what can I do? what can I do?"
The attendant midfwife said "Perhaps you would like to bathe the baby sir. Just go through those doors and you should find everything you need. i will come and see how you are going in a few minutes"
Five minutes later the midwife goes thruough the doors to see how he is going and she is horrified to find him with his fingers in the baby's nostrils swishing it through the water doing a figure of eight pattern!
She exclaimed "That's not how you bath a baby!"
He said "It is when the water's this bloody hot!"