Nursing entry essay feedback

[Est1983]

Nursing entry essay for National University

Hello all future nurses applying for National University's April 2014 cohort. I am scheduled to take my written essay this week. I have been practicing my writing skills on various possible topics they might ask. Of all of them, this is the best one I wrote and if I can get helpful feedback, that would be awesome! Thank you in advance... I hope to hear from someone soon =)

As an aspiring nursing student, my motivations in life have enabled me to focus on my goals for the future. My longing to be important to people, my determination to succeed in this career, and my desire to create a better future, are what drive me to meet my plans to be a nurse. After reflecting on my life, I made the decision to go back to school in hopes to fulfill my endeavors. By pursuing a career that is greater and beyond the boundaries of my own comfort zone, I know I will be able to look back, be proud of what I did and who I have become.

Since I can remember, I have always had the desire to play a significant role in some aspect of my life--to be important to others. Being raised in church, I have had the opportunity to contribute back to my community by feeding the less fortunate, planning events, and leading various organizations. My involvement in such activities taught me to enjoy serving people and taking on responsibilities to meet the needs of others. Coming into this world of yet unknown responsibilities, I will strive to fulfill my duties as a nurse. My mother has always shared with me her experiences as an RN and how rewarding it is to help people who cannot help themselves. Knowing that she plays such an important role in her career has always been inspiring to me and I knew I wanted to somehow follow in her footsteps.

My determination to succeed in this career motivates me to change my priorities, from settling in my comfort zone to venturing off and accomplishing what will benefit me in the future. Coming from a career in interior design, I learned to cater to my clients and provide them with the materialistic standards of living. I never obtained the full gratification from meeting their needs; I always felt as though I was missing out on a better opportunity. It was then that I started my search in hopes to find a greater purpose for my life and decided to pursue nursing. I look forward to being a successful nurse and my determination to do so will allow me to get there.

Lastly, my desire to create a better future for me and my family has pushed me to go down this road for success. The reassurance of having a stable career is comforting. My goal is to have the ability to provide and invest in the future of my family. I was fortunate enough to have a mother as a nurse and father who retired in the Navy. With their benefits, they were capable of sending all four of us children to school, which I am truly grateful for. With my future still full of many possibilities-- a marriage to nurture, a family to raise, a mortgage to pay, and children to put through school, I want to provide them with the same opportunity my parents gave to us. I am confident that coming into a nursing career will allow me to fulfill my desires and aid in providing me with a better future.

To be proud of my accomplishments in life is a goal I set for myself; with much faith I will succeed. As an aspiring nursing student, I have learned that such a great achievement comes from personal motivations. By focusing on being important to people, succeeding in this career, and making a better future will enable me to pull through in my endeavors to be a nurse. After great deliberation of making a significant decision for my life, I constantly reminded myself to focus on the prize. When it is all finished I can look back, applaud, and say "job well done".