No Confidence
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I just graduated from an ASN program in July. I worked as a student nurse extern in the family rooms at a large suburban hospital. I feel fortunate to have found a job--many of my classmates have been unable to find work. I'm starting at a level 2 special care nursery this week.
My problem is that even with my student nursing experience (which was extremely limited), I do not feel ready for this position. I have 12 weeks of preceptor training for this job. Everyone tells me that I will be ready when my preceptor training is complete, but I have lots of reservations. I have a great grasp of theory--I was valedictorian of my nursing school class, but I would be the first to tell anyone that my skills are poorly developed. The idea of resuscitating a baby scares me to death. Lots of babies come out blue. This is a big part of the job. I'm still struggling with getting newborn vitals. Little hearts go so fast and if I lose count I have to start all over again for another minute. It takes me awhile to complete an assessment on a healthy two-day old newborn let alone resuscitate, do the initital assessment, assign apgars, tag, dry, and diaper a screaming newborn.
Don't get me wrong, this is where I want to be. In fact, it is the entire reason that I returned to nursing school. However, I feel like there is an expectation that I will become a seasoned nurse in 12 weeks. I feel so incredibly stressed and simply not ready. I understand why the new nurse attrition rate is 50%. I would appreciate any insight that you have to offer. Thanks