New RN - Advice please

[fnallyRN]

Hi,

I am a new grad who started on a med/surg floor a few months ago at my dream hospital. I am so grateful to work there and have loved learning from my excellent preceptors and interacting with my patients. During the past few months, I have started experiencing intense "sleep anxiety," worried I won't be rested for my shift and will make mistakes, or that I won't sleep and therefore won't be able to attend my shift and will be fired. I know these are very irrational fears but they have me in tears the night before almost every shift. I am doing CBT with a therapist and started Zoloft a month ago, in addition to sleeping pills I take. I am wondering if I made a mistake becoming a nurse. My preceptors have only praised me, which has grown my confidence, but yet I am almost becoming crippled by anxiety that is going to self-sabotage me. I am so confused why this is happening because I truly love nursing and have worked so hard to get where I am. The patient load/time management/prioritization is stressful for me and I know I have tons and tons to learn, but I am managing my patients independently thus far. I have met very kind, supportive nurses on my floor, but also some not-so-warm-and-fuzzy ones, and have been warned that the charge nurses give new hires more challenging assignments to see how we do. I guess I am subconsciously worried about failing, which is causing my sleep issues and surrounding anxiety about it. Not sure if anyone can relate, but I am having a particularly tough time tonight. Thank you for any advice you may have!

[youenjoymyself]

Your stress level will reduce as you gain experience. Give it a year.

P.S. SSRI's are the devil. Start your taper now, and thank me later.