Never feeling good enough, despite milestones

I can totally relate. I'm struggling with the same thing myself. However...I'm not sure I know the answer but I can tell you that the grass isn't always greener. There is nothing wrong with being happy where you work. There are always ways to know more, do more, achieve more. It depends what your priorities are. You mentioned you were a new grad...perhaps take some more time and see what areas of nursing really appeal to you and where your passion is. Then go in that direction. Don't pressure yourself to a change just for appearances sake. Nursing is hard and it will wear you out. You might not be there yet since you're new. If you have a job that has good pay and good people, that's rare! If your job isn't depleting you mentally, physically, and emotionally then don't mess with it, lol. This will allow you to have a quality of life outside of work.

The questions is "what will make you the most happy" and create the best work/life balance. I remember a Harvard psychologist who did a lecture on happiness. He quoted a study that evaluated the happiness of two groups of people. Those who had just become paraplegics and those who had just won the lottery. As might be expected the group that won the lottery was initially happier with the news that they were wealthy than those who discovered that they had life altering illness or injury. However, at one year they were approximately equally happy. His point was that we often do a relatively poor job of successfully predicting accurately what will make us happy (or what will make us feel good about ourselves I suspect). I remember working with a group of nurses from India when we first moved to Florida who were all in arranged marriages. I basically said "that must be weird" they retorted "did you realize that studies show that those in arranged marriages are happier and have a lower divorce rate than those who find their own mates". I tried to validate their statement, but was frankly too busy to find any good studies, but it still caused me contemplate the issue from a different perspective.

Meh, your just new....

22 hours ago, CaliRN2019 said:

I feel like the bar keeps moving and no matter what I do I can't keep up. I really like the floor I am on. They pay is good, the people are good. Sometimes the pt acuity seems too easy and I crave something harder...

Who's moving the bar? If you like the floor you're on, stay a while. On those shifts when the acuity of the patients seems easy, read a journal. Look at certification as a possibility. Join a committee. Engage in side work that supports your desire to learn. You have to figure out what truly makes you happy or content and then work toward that goal.

How can patients be too easy? I go to work for the money, not the fun or fulfillment. If I want fun I will go down the street to Disney World. If I want a challenge I will hike the Appalachian trail (in segments since I don't have the time to do all at once) if I want to feel like I'm helping someone I will volunteer at Give Kids the World (the provide wishes for seriously ill children). I go to work to pay the rent, eat, and to be able to afford all the things in life that I actually want to do.

1 hour ago, Davey Do said:

Your whole post was great, myoglobin, but I wanted to ask you: Was the name of the psychologist Daniel Gilbert?

Daniel Gilbert wrote a great book titled Stumbling on Happiness and your examples sound like the same sort of studies Dr. Gilbert had in his book!

CaliRN: I share with you one of my favorite quotes: "My happiness does not depend on what others do or say or what goes on around me. My happiness is a result of being at peace with myself".

Peace to you!

Yes that was the Ted Talk (by Gilbert). The one I saw dated back to 2004 and the research he referenced was even older, but there is a more recent one from last year that I've been meaning to watch (it is an hour long), but simply haven't.

I think you're just feeling a lot of ambition.

Ambition is good when you let it make you smarter and better and bad when you look down on others instead of getting smarter and better.

Stay on the good side by going to practice council meetings, taking classes, subscribing to journals, signing up for conferences, pushing yourself hard to learn and grow where you are.

It doesn't necessarily ever end, but at some point you may get tired and want to just lay on a beach or read a novel.

You know, what I think and worry about for myself is that I will have this same problem. Mostly because I have been in this mindset of do better, not great, you must be better than great, to get into nursing school, to pass nursing school and get a job after.

I think that mindset is something REALLY hard to shut off, because you are constantly pushing yourself to do better to get to these points and its hard to take that breath and say, "I'm here, I did it and I can breathe again and enjoy that I have reached my goals."