:( i need help pllzzzzz

[safae1986]

hi everyone . I just need someone to help me proofread my essay i'm really really really stresssssssssssed out .. ( content, grammar and punctuation will be evaluated) 300 words

the question is what is the greatest risk you have taken and what did you learn as a result of it . --- this is what i wrote :

I have taken enormous risks in my life due to the many obstacles that I had to overcome. But if I had to narrow it down to one risk, it would be the risk I took to come to the United States 8 years ago. Few people at that time were that wise to go to a very far country such as the United States especially when you do not know anybody there. Going to another to another country was always fraught with fear and danger. I had no idea what would happen to me. I kept worrying and thinking whether I will get there safe, and whether the plane might crash and I would not see my little family again. I wondered how my life would be there and how it would change because of it. I was so afraid that this experience might fail and I will go back home with nothing accomplished.

After a slightly miserable homesick start, I got back to my feet and learned the English language and went to college to achieve my dream of being a nurse. It was a different experience, a great risk and the right decision. I will never regret it, and I learned that life is full if risks, and we should have the courage to face it to change our lives. A lot of people can do extraordinary things if they take risk and if they have confidence, but yet not many people take risks. They sit and watch life goes on and on forever as it is. Like a Brazilian novelist Paulo choelho once said "The world lies in the hands of those who have the courage to dream and who take the risk of living out their dreams - each according to his or her own talent". From my own perspective coming to the United States is the greatest risk I have taken in my life, and I 'm very happy that I took this risk because it changed my life forever.

[Ladypie]

A few grammar/tense things, but nothing major. A few things just sounded awkward to me, but you will have to choose other words if you want to replace them. I think it might be helpful to state where you are from, especially since coming here is so dangerous. Good luck. Hope my questions or ideas help.

I have taken enormous risks in my life due to the many obstacles that I had to overcome. If I had to narrow it down to one risk, however, it would be the risk I took to come to the United States 8 years ago. Few people at that time were that wise (?- wise sounds weird here) to go to a very far country (you might want to state where you came from) such as the United States, especially if they did not know anybody there. Going to another country was always fraught with fear and danger. I had no idea what would happen to me. I kept worrying and thinking about whether I would get there safe, and whether the plane would crash and I would not see my little (? makes your family sound trivial) family again. I wondered how my life would be once there and how it would change because of it. I was so afraid that this experience might fail and I would go back home with nothing accomplished.

After a shaky start filled with homesickness, I got back on my feet and learned the English language. I went to college to achieve my dream of being a nurse. It was a different (?- unusual? unique?) experience, a great risk and the right decision. I will never regret it, and I learned that life is full if risks. We should have the courage to face risks to change our lives. A lot of people can do extraordinary things if they take risks and if they have confidence, but yet not many people do this. They sit and watch life go on and on forever as it is. Like the Brazilian novelist Paulo Choelho once said, "The world lies in the hands of those who have the courage to dream and who take the risk of living out their dreams - each according to his or her own talent." From my own perspective, coming to the United States is the greatest risk I have taken in my life, and I'm very happy that I took this risk because it changed my life forever.