NEED ADVICE- homecare

[Unique]

Hello! I'm an RN have been a pediatric home care nurse since 2006. I have always had a good relationship with clients and parents. Four months ago I started working with a family.  I knew from the beginning the mom of patient was extra but we seemed to have a good relationship so I didn't pay it no mind. She's a mother who feels like she knows more than nurse and very controlling with daughter's care. She likes to micro manage a lot. I have been over a lot of family house, spent holidays, she sends me pictures of client even when I am not working. I love my patient and I ignored the red flags until this week. Since I've started working mom would complain about another nurse to me. Things like "she doesn't need to use gloves all the time, why doesn't she use the hoyer lift my child is small enough to carry, etc. I simply ignored them, comments seemed petty.  A few weeks ago mom asked me about the hand soap I use. I told her I use the agency soap they send out. She states"yes please use that because it's already a lot to supply you guys toilet paper.” Im like okay but in the back of my mind it rubbed me the wrong way. Made me kind of feel like a burden more than a help to the family. Next morning agency calls me and is like please remember to use the supplies we send. I'm like okay I just told her I use the agency's soap last night what was the point of telling the agency. Then, Couple days later the agency calls me and tells me "whatever bathroom you guys use can you start taking the trash out" I'm like okay but that was weird because there is only one BR in the house. So why would I take the trash out when everybody in the house uses the same BR. So I start to do it at the end of every shift. As I continue to work mom is still cool with me well at least in my face. Then, last week mom asked me to switch days with this other nurse so I could work with my patient more. I told mom no because the day she wants me to add to schedule, I work with another patient. She called the agency anyway and asked them to switch it. I told them I can't due to me working with another client. That night, mom texted me and complained about 3 dayshifts of patient schedule weren't filled this month. Another nurse called out 3 days in once month and I never responded to the text cause like really? Next day, agency calls me and tells me mom complained about me with washing syringe ongoing issue. I told them mom never once mentioned an issue with me washing syringes. Agency was like "that's weird she said it continues to happen like if you guys spoke about it multiple times". Agency knew that confused me and said "don't worry about it, if she says anything to you just call me, you know how she is". When I heard it I'm confused because I'm like the agency called yesterday asking me to work more.  So I knew the "complaint" seemed kind of petty. It seems like because I said no to working more days now you have an issue. When I work, no complaints are said to me. She's able to complain about other nurses and about the agency. She ask me about my personal life and states "you have become family". But she calls the agency over minor stuff instead of saying something to me so I could just fix it. I just wanna know what would you do in this situation? I love my patient but it feels like I have to walk on eggshells around her mom. I'm thinking of getting another case. What would you do? 

[kp2016]

First up, I don't do home care and never have. But.... this seems very concerning to me. 

You know Mother complains a lot to you about the other nurses. I am willing to bet she also complains about you to the other nurses. She has made complaints about you to your agency. The fact that she never spoke to you about the concerns thereby not giving you any chance to discuss or rectify any issues or misunderstandings is a huge red flag. Those complaints are almost certainly in you personnel file.

The bottom line is, the patient and the mother are not family. They are clients. The mother is clearly showing you she has no problem damaging your professional reputation and potentially your job. If I were you I would be looking for a new client asap while it is still your decision to make.