2nd year RN bullied, burnt out

[Minervaskye]

I really do need some help..or maybe somewhere to vent as my family and friends do not understand and are probably sick of hearing about it. I graduated two years ago with the hope of helping people and excited about a new progressive career. I was unable to secure a graduate position in public hospitals in Australia and I have always completed my placements in the public system. Due to competition I accepted a place in a private hospital. It was hard to begin with but I found my feet and started to feel comfortable and like I had a good work life balance. Then I was told this private hospital does not keep graduates on after their grad years due to funding and trying to tighten the budget for next year. So I looked and looked and found a job in a large private hospital in oncology..I am finding it extremely hard to cope. I have 7 patients at one time all to myself who have blood transfusions IV antibiotics and palliative care. I run all shift don't sit down for more than ten minutes and shovel in food for fifteen minutes on my dinner break. I work in constant fear that I am going to make a big mistake due to the rushed environment and the lack of support from other nurses. I guess they too are far to busy to help me. I am hoping for some advice as to what to do. My health is suffering I have a constant tension headache and cry on the way home from my new job. I am a strong person but I feel the patient to nurse ratio is so off for oncology and way more staff are needed. I could never say this to management I would be fired. Is public any better in Australia? It seems private hospitals only care about money and working their staff to the bone. It's so sad that all I wanted to do was be there for people when they are unwell and now I feel immense guilt from not being able to be there for little lonely old people who need someone to hold their hand while they are dying. I'm just distraught

[kp2016]

Having worked in public and private hospitals although never oncology, it really depends on the hospital. I did agency for awhile and there were both public and private hospitals that I loved and also ones I cancelled all future shifts at and told my agency I was never available to work at again. Have you considered using an agency to take a contact position in a rural hospital in a large country town? These hospitals are often desperate for staff and and are normally willing to train less experienced staff who show up with a positive I really want to be here attitude.