My Journey- A CNA Personal Story

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As I get closer to start working as a CNA again, I know this. It will not be as the last time. On this post, I just want to reflect the first time I worked as a CNA from the beginning until now.

I hope as people will read this post, it will encourage them, as I know the hardships and trials of what a CNA has to go through. But, It will get better in time.

Back in 2012, I took a CNA class and passed. And yes, I took the state test and passed both of them. The written part, easy. The skills, hard. In fact, i was in a group that was the last one to get tested. It was nerve wrecking, as I was pacing back and forth, just waiting. Finally, I went and the first two skills weren't that bad. But the last one, yep. I made about five mistakes. It was changing the patient with a weak arm. Let me tell you, I was shaking up the whole time. To all the CNAs out there who know, when a instructor watches you like a hawk the whole time, you feel the nerves. In fact, I was sweating so much, but I had to get it done. After that, I waited for about two hours for the results, and I passed. It was a great feeling, which I will never forget. Look, even if CNA classes aren't that long, we still take a state test, and we study for everything that we have to do right. Even though it's not big in most people's eyes, it was big in mine. I think of every great achievement as a great one. Why, because I worked so hard for it.

Anyway, after that, I went back to volunteering at the hospital, as usual. See, after my CNA course, I had to register for the state test, and you know it takes very, very long. While I was waiting, someone suggested to me that I volunteer at the hospital. I thought about it for a bit, and immediately thought it was a great idea. Why? That way, not only you have general hospital experience, but after you know the place for a while, you get to know people. And when you get to know people, you know more people. And that's the better chance of you getting a job. It was. So, I signed up for it, got an interview, all that jazz. But before going it, myself and the advice of others knew I had to be careful and not mention anything about getting a job at the hospital. If I told the bosses, then they would deny me. They wanted people to be committed, and I had to tell them that. I knew I was going to like volunteering, but not at much more as I did after a few weeks. I loved volunteering. In fact, if it was a real job, then I would do it as a job. I did so many things as a volunteer. Transporting, sitting in the main lobby, corriuer services, giving books to patients, and most importantly, the volunteer office. At first, they assigned a place for you to volunteer at, but after a few weeks, I got to know the bosses when i worked with them. I worked so hard that they liked me, and I liked them. I didn't tell them about finding a job at the hospital (which was my main purpose), but I did tell them I passed the state test. That's all. I didn't want to give them too many hints. So, as I was passing books to all the floors, I asked around. And that's when I meet the place where I was going to work at. It was a rocky start, but I got the job after the interview. And let me just say, I was blessed in getting the job, because it was my first job EVER. I just want to say that I thank God for this job, because he gave it to me, not the boss. What was more of a blessing was that I asked the volunteer boss if I could use her as a reference, and she actually did! I remember going back to volunteer after the interview later that day, and she smiled at me and told me the boss called her and asked about me. She gave a great recommendation :). She told me that she wasn't going to tell me, but she decided to tell me anyway. It was a great feeling. Anyway, I did the sign up process, and before you know it, I was in. But, it wasn't as green as grass. In fact, it was going to be a long and hard road and I didn't know it.

I remember the first day at work. I was clueless. Yeah, I followed someone for two weeks, but I was totally lost. I wanted to learn, but it was just so much to take in. In fact, I remember the first big mistake I made. I was supposed to clean and dress a patient. But for the whole day, I forgot about her lol. I remember the nurse for that patient going in the room when the daughter came in and complained about it. Eventually, We cleaned her up. I knew I showed a bad impression. I remember another day working a whole shift, I was supposed to get a patient ready also for therapy, but I was confused about the schedule lol. When I passed by in the room, I didn't know that the PHYSICAL therapists were in and getting her ready. By the time I knew that, I felt so embarrassed. But luckily, I didn't get in trouble. There were other incidents, like a new admission and not taking the patient's weight, bad charting, etc. I was so behind. I even remember a nurse who did the first interview telling me that it was ok and I was getting better. Yeah, not good. After that, that's when I went into nights. It was bad, because I never worked night shifts in my life. I had so much trouble staying awake. And yeah, I had trouble with other stuff too. I changed a diaper the wrong way many times, I left a patient in the bathroom (which someone told me when I did it), and i got in a LPN's bad side when a patient's' ostomy back exploded and had to clean it all by herself. Then close to the end of the shift, I thought I was done, but the person I followed with told me that a patient was wet. I thought I checked it good, but I didn't. Yeah, it was bad. I think the even that made me put to shame was when I left a patient in the bathroom. I didn't know she was a fall risk, because she kept getting up and she had a fall the same day. I left her in the bathroom for about a minute, then I heard a THUMP. I went into the bathroom, and she was on the floor. I was going to pick her up, when the nurse came in to check on how I was doing. When she saw me and the patient on the ground, she screamed and called everyone. -_-. Yeah, we got her up and the charge nurse called the doctor. She was fine, but I knew I messed up. We did a fall huddle, and that was it. Fortunately, I didn't get in trouble, but I knew I couldn't do it again.

Yeah, the first few months were hard. Every shift I was improving, but not in the groove of things. It all wasn't bad though, as I meet great co-workers who would become my great friends. They helped me out, I helped them out, we were just a great team. But then the following months, I improved. Yeah, I was still having problems, but it was minor. And yeah, I had more falls, but none of them were my fault. Even the floating to other floors was bad, but I improved to the point where it was normal, as other CNAs felt. After all that time, I was finally recognized as the CNA employee of the month. Yes, all the time and effort paid off. I was proud of myself. But, I wasn't satisfied. Why, I couldn't handle nights. I wanted to go too days so badly for months, but my boss had no positions available. Then it was, and I moved to days. I thought it was going to be good. I was wrong.

I remember the first day shift I went onto. It wasn't bad during the first few days, but it was worse as it came along. The first weekend shift was terrible. I knew I had to get patients up, but I didn't know I had to get all of them up. It was a drag. I was so tired after getting everyone ready. I didn't know it was going to be so much chaos. At first I thought I liked the chaos, but now I realize that I messed up pretty bad lol. I didn't care at the time, because I just wanted a normal sleep pattern. In fact, that's the only reason why I switched. I knew the pay was going back down too, but I didn't care. Now, I regret that also. I remember the pay wasn't as much as I made during the night. But I stuck with it. But the one thing I quickly realized when working days is that everyone watches you. EVERYONE. Everyone will call you so much that you would want to hang up the phone on their faces just to feel good lol. I also thought that everyone would be as friendly as the people in nights.....WRONG!! Some of them are, but most of them are just too busy and too grouchy. Yeah, I worked with the nurses and therapists, and it was all to take in. But, for a year I did it anyway. There were days that I wanted to just give up, throw my badge at the boss and say that I QUIT! Yeah, in fact I day dreamed it at work just to make me feel better. I used to watch videos online of people quitting and it made me feel a little better. But still, I knew that I had to stick with it. And this is when the time I found out about calling off :). I talked to a friend at work about it and they told me all I had to do was to call them on the phone and tell them a few hours ahead of notice that you won't be coming in today. I tried it and loved it. In fact, I abused it a bit a tad too much. (Look, I know I'm not the only one who does it. I knew people who did it to and never got in trouble). I found out when my boss called me and questioned me about it. They even had the days I called off lol. But to my surprise, I didn't get in trouble. Why, I will never know...All I knew was that I couldn't do it anymore. I did it once in a while, but not much.

Yep. It just got to the point where I wanted to give up. But, I didn't. I had so much support, which was my parents. I can't tell you how many time I've complained to them and they still supported me. I knew it annoyed them sometimes, but they never gave up on me. They believed in me. And I want to thank them for that.

Soon, to my surprise, it was getting better and better. Yes, there was those bad days and those bad moments, but it was getting better. Patients who rarely gives praises to me starts doing so little by little in a survey, which I appreciated.I knew the nurses, other CNAs, and therapists well, talked and worked together with them also. I even had some of them going out of their way to help me out with things as well. I helped too, but didn't think much of it, but I didn't knew it meant a lot to them. I even had some charge nurses helping me out a few times. I remember one shift when I was going to change a patient, and I knew I could it by myself, but the charge nurse came in and wanted to help. No hesitation. Personally I didn't want to, but she insisted. But yeah, they were willing to help me do my job without hesitation, like a team. It felt great. Yeah, there was still a few people with problems, but in the end they were cool too. I had this one person who was in fact in charge of therapy who I despised and didn't want to work with. Yeah that person always felt that she was too good to help out. I even remember getting scolded at one time when she had to help a patient out because I wasn't there. Another time was when the therapist scolded more seriously at me telling me to do my job and feed the patients during lunch time. It pissed me off that day. But to my surprise,that person started to help me out after that. Yeah, they had a bad attitude, but not as bad as before. Yeah, I didn't get it as well. Go figure. But yeah, it was the time when it was getting better for me. But I will never forget this moment one day at a busy shift. I was taking a quick break drinking water, when the boss comes in. You know what the boss says? This- I am so proud of you. You've come really far. I will hold onto to those words. When a boss says that to you, you know you are doing a great job.

Yeah, I still had my mistakes, and falls. But this one fall was my fault, again. I was taking a patient to the bathroom, when the patient fell down. I realized that the patient needed a gait belt on, but I forgot to put it on. Then, when my boss found out, the boss literally screamed at me and threatened to write me up if I do it again. I felt bad that day, but on next shift, surprised me a lot. She asked me to talk to her in a private room, and was being so nice to me. Why, I'm not sure. I guess I could say she was apologize to me about what happened, but I told the boss it was still my fault. Still, the boss gave me strong words of encouragement, which I really appreciated, and coming from the boss, it's a really big deal.

During that time, I was planning to go back to school, and I did. I only told my trusted co-workers because I knew if people talked about it then it would be a big gossip. But anyway, after I was accepted, I wrote my resignation, and happily turned it in to the boss. Yeah, it was still busy, but it didn't matter to me. I wanted to get out and go to school. During the last month I was there, I was the employee of the month. Yeah, it took that long to get recognition. But anyway, it was the busiest shifts I ever had. But I still managed to make it through.

The last day working there felt great. But the thing I didn't know was that I was going to really be missed. People were telling me goodbye, I had a cake and a card, but the most surprising thing about it was what my boss told me. I gave the boss a card just in case I didn't get to say goodbye to the boss. The boss then told me something I really had no clue about. The boss told me that about 20 people came up and told the boss that they were going to miss me. That really shocked me. I never knew I had such a great influence where I was working at. Anyway, I said my goodbyes, and I knew I was going to take a piece of the workplace with me. But the biggest thing I will take with me is that I was respected by so much people who are higher up than me, and I never intended to do it on purpose. All I know now is that it was all God.

Alias, school didn't work out for me, and now I'm going back into the field. But this time, it's going to be different. I know I will still have those bad days and those people who I can't work with, but with my experiences, It helped me grow into a better person. I know now that I can take it. I'm eager to go back into the field and help others. I just wanted to share my journey from where I was until to now, and I hope it will encourage others as well. I know I won't be a CNA for the rest of my life, but for now, I'm going to make the best of it.