My Experience as a NICU RN

[NICUnurse19]

Ever since I discovered nursing, it has been my life's passion. Since I began my career in 2011, I have taken care of thousands of pediatric patients in the outpatient setting. I always took pride in letting people know that working within pediatrics, and particularly pediatric specialties, was more difficult than most would imagine. After working in this environment for about ten years, I began to feel myself becoming burnt out. I needed a change, but I wasn't sure what that would look like for me. After months of research, discussions with family and friends, I decided that I would take a huge leap of faith and begin working in a level IV NICU at the state's number one hospital. This was at times a daunting prospect, but I felt I needed the challenge in my career and experience a completely different, incredibly fast-paced, life-changing environment. I needed to know that this is something that I could do and do well. I tried to prepare myself as best as I could for the many changes that were about to come my way. As much as I tried to prepare, I never could have imagined how this shift in my career would turn my world upside down in so many ways.

 

            It is difficult to even know where to begin when speaking about this incredibly unique experience. I think the best way to start is to say that I felt like a “baby” nurse again, even though I was a very experienced Clin II. Between attending classes specific to the NICU, learning an entirely new medical language, becoming familiar with medications used in this patient population and on this unit, completely re-learning how to manage my time with up to three patients, I was overwhelmed to say the least. There were so many times I thought to myself, “what am I doing here?”, “I don’t belong here”, or “I can’t do this”. I am so thankful for my incredibly supportive co-workers, husband, family, and friends who encouraged me along the way, reassuring me that I was completely capable of taking on this new adventure. Almost a year and a half later, I could never have imagined all of the experiences that I would go through on this amazing unit. I have seen the beginning of life more times than I can count, and it is still a miracle every time. I have seen death of children, and every time it is an honor to be able to be with them and their families during their last moments on earth. All of the moments in between have been nerve-racking, stressful, happy, moments of self-doubt and self-assurance. I always tell parents of NICU babies that they should be prepared for a “roller coaster” experience. I never knew that I should prepare myself for such a roller coaster ride as well.