Motivation for live in caregiver

[Twinmagic]

Good morning everyone,

I've been lurking this forum for a couple years now but this is the first time I've actually posted so hopefully it goes well.

A little background: I'm a 28 year old female and I've been a certified nurse assistant for 3 1/2 years now. I've mainly done long term care, but I've also worked for an agency that sent me to a prison and mental hospital. I live in Nashville TN and I make about $13 at my current job; a long term care facility. I've been burnt out as a CNA for a little over a year now and I know I need to go back to school and find a new career. I love to write and I love English but I'm afraid I won't have a decent career in those fields. There is a tech school in Nashville that offers the LPN program and the next class starts in May and I am really hoping to get in. I am however questioning if I really want to do this.

My reason for this post today is that I recently had the urge to move to Boston. I received reciprocity in the state of Massachusetts, so I am also certified there. I started looking on indeed.com for jobs and that is where I found my current employer. I won't mention the name of the place as I am not 100% sure I am able to, but basically it's a live in caregiver agency based in the state of Connecticut. I originally thought I was applying and interviewing for a position in Boston but the more things moved along, the more I realized it wasn't what it seemed. However I love to travel and wanted to try something different so I accepted the job. I was originally told that they reimburse you for traveling outside of New England up to $180. When I finally arrived for orientation it seems like a lot of what I was told, including pay..was not the entire truth. I also don't like the fact that we don't get to choose what New England state we go to, and despite thinking I was interviewing for live in work in Massachusetts...here I am in Connecticut.

I've been at my client's home since Friday and I don't leave until the 27th. My mom passed recently, so its just my grandma and me. I hate being away from my grandma, especially our first holiday without my mom. Yesterday was my mom's birthday and I was really depressed. I'm far from home, we aren't allowed to leave the house, and even if we wanted to, I don't know where I am but I'm pretty sure I'm in the middle of nowhere.

We can call the office and request to be pulled off a case if we feel uncomfortable or something and I don't get paid from my job back home (I'm PRN there) until Wednesday so even if I felt I absolutely couldn't stick it out, I have no money to get home until then. I'm trying to find motivation(other than money) to stick it out the next week and a half. I hardly get phone service out here so sometimes when I try to call my grandma..it doesn't connect. Forget Netflix or any complex internet browsing.

I just really want to go home, and it's no one's fault but mine that I came out here, but my motivation was "I'd regret NOT coming more than I would regret coming and not liking it" which is true. I am happy to have this experience, and now I know that live in work is not to me. I can either wave my white flag now or stick it out.