6 months since passing my 2nd attempt at the NCLEX

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SO guys, it's been 6 months since I have taken that dreadful NCLEX examination, 6months. Half a year and here I am today, sipping a latte at Starbucks and enjoying reading some of my past posts about my journey with the NCLEX.

To this day, I believe the NCLEX is useless, and I hope to God someone changes this exam more suited to where they are living or at least change the questions that fits more appropriately to their nursing program. Regardless of my distaste of the NCLEX, I passed it and I moved on with my life. Never forgetting the moment I failed, to those hard nights studying while everyone enjoyed being a nurse and the perks of their paycheques, while I stayed home or went to the library eating cupped ramen noodles or just starving with only caffeine in my system. Regardless of what I went through, out of it, made a more humbler and more stronger me, for that, I am thankful.

So forward to 6 months since, I thought I passed the worst, but what I didn't realize is now facing the real world of earning money and spending it wisely. Learning about my nursing union, learning about what lateral bullying is, what kind of nursing culture I have entered into. I am now an adult realizing I am **** scared of this world without my safety net I called school and guidance of my instructors.

I was working on 2 different units, facing the new situations as a new graduate RN, I was learning about the different kinds of nurses, some nurses were welcoming, warm and inviting while others were just complete bullies, making me question all my beliefs, realizing my own mental limit.

I went on and pushed it to the side, trying to convince my self it was part of some hazing and that I needed to work hard in the beginning so I can fit in. I was also working really hard because I was stressed out about doing as many and learning as many skills as possible without even thinking about my mental health. I was heavily burnt out and didn't even realize it.

the NCLEX may be hard, but it's a hurdle, the real challenge is figuring out what nurse you are, who you are and how it affects your work with patients and the staff.

Welcome to the jungle

it is indeed a jungle.

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